Feeling like a failure at 17?
I’m currently 17 and in school, but I’ve been feeling quite lost lately. I struggle with academics, especially math—subjects like algebra and trigonometry just don’t click with me. My school offers math classes at two levels: A level, which is more advanced, and B level, which is easier yet still tough. Initially, I tried A level, but it was too much, so I switched to B level. Even now, I feel like I’m just barely keeping up, and it honestly feels discouraging.
One of the toughest challenges for me is my discomfort with asking for help. I hesitate to reach out to my teacher about my struggles because I’m afraid of looking foolish in front of my classmates. Bullying is also an issue at my school—if you admit you’re having a hard time, you risk being made fun of, which just adds to my stress. Because of this, I often internalize my struggles, even when I really need support.
To make matters worse, my best friend is naturally gifted academically. He quickly grasps concepts and earns good grades with little effort, while I feel like I have to work twice as hard just to achieve average results. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but it’s difficult to watch those around me excel while I feel stuck, making me doubt my abilities.
On a positive note, I have a supportive girlfriend who constantly reassures me that I’m not dumb. She uplifts me when I feel down, and I’m incredibly thankful for her. Yet, despite her support, I still struggle to shake the feeling of falling behind.
Outside of school, I’m uncertain about my future. I’ve considered IT since I find it intriguing, but I lack a clear career direction. It feels like everyone else knows exactly what they want—doctors, engineers, entrepreneurs—while I’m left without that clarity. I worry that if I don’t figure this out soon, I’ll be left behind.
I understand that grades aren’t everything, and success doesn’t solely stem from academic achievements, yet I can’t help but feel inadequate. It often seems like, no matter how hard I try, it’s never quite enough.
However, I’m determined to change. I plan to buy a book from my math teacher filled with exercises to practice solving problems directly, and I’m hopeful it will help me prepare for my exams. I want to improve because I don’t want to feel like a failure. I know with hard work, I can do better; I just need to keep pushing myself.
I’m also taking subjects like biology, economics, PE, and IT, and I’m actually performing quite well in those. I feel confident and enjoy studying them, so at least I’m finding success in some areas.
Has anyone else experienced similar feelings? If you struggled in school but went on to find success in life, I’d love to hear your story. How did you combat self-doubt? How did you discover your passion?
First of all, I want to say that you’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s completely normal to feel lost, especially at your age. Many people experience similar struggles during their teenage years, and it doesn’t define your worth or future potential.
It’s great to hear that you have a supportive girlfriend and that you’re doing well in subjects you enjoy! That’s definitely a positive aspect to focus on. Remember that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and struggling with a particular subject doesn’t make you a failure—it makes you human. Academic paths vary for everyone, and it’s perfectly okay to find certain subjects challenging while excelling in others.
As for reaching out for help, it’s understandable to feel apprehensive, but consider that teachers are there to support you. Most have been in your shoes and appreciate when students take the initiative to seek help, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. It could also build your confidence over time.
Your plan to buy the math book is a fantastic step forward! Working through problems on your own can provide a sense of accomplishment and help you improve. Also, don’t hesitate to explore online resources or study groups. Sometimes, learning with peers can alleviate the pressure and promote a supportive environment.
Regarding your future career, it’s perfectly fine not to have everything figured out right now. Many people change their paths several times before settling into something they love. Your interest in IT is a good start, and you can explore it further through projects or part-time jobs related to technology, which might give you clearer insights.
Lastly, try to be kind to yourself. Self-doubt is something many people contend with, even those who seem successful on the surface. Keeping a journal about your achievements, no matter how small, can help reinforce your sense of capability. Remember that life is a journey, and it’s okay to take your time to find your way. Your hard work and dedication will pay off, and there is so much ahead of you!