Back in mainstream.

I’m back in mainstream school. I’m 14, transgender, and autistic, currently in Year 9 in England. I had to leave mainstream due to bullying and challenges with my coursework.

For the past two terms (about 12 weeks), I was part of a learning support group called Jumpstart, but for some reason, I’ve just been removed from the group and can’t get back in. Now I’m back in mainstream school, and after getting used to my half-day schedule, everything is turned upside down again. I was going to school from 9 AM to 1:30 PM, but now it’s 8 AM to 3 PM.

I’m struggling with intense anxiety, to the point where I feel like I might vomit, and it’s hard for me to even speak. With around 60% attendance, I should be allowed a day off without consequences, but my parents are insisting I go. They say, “Every day there’s another excuse,” but they don’t see how overwhelmed I feel. It’s also affecting my POTS symptoms.

I really hate this situation. I know someone who has been in Jumpstart for almost two years, while I’m being pulled out after just two terms despite facing medical challenges. They don’t even want to be in the group, but they can stay.

Edit: My dad just told me that I’m making excuses after I opened up about needing help, and he called me selfish. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I’m struggling with some really dark thoughts right now.

One Reply to “Back in mainstream.”

  1. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s important to talk to someone who can help you, like a trusted adult or a mental health professional. You deserve support, especially when you’re dealing with so much. Remember, it’s okay to need help and to express how you’re feeling. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to help you through it. Please reach out to someone who can provide the support you need.

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