I’m feeling like I’m not fully making the most of my college experience. As a 21-year-old junior, I genuinely love college and am already dreading the day I have to leave. On the surface, I’m quite involved: I share an apartment with three of my best friends, volunteer with children and the elderly every weekend, participate in a weekly religious small group, and serve as a college tour guide. I have great friends I spend time with, and I’m looking forward to studying abroad this summer. Plus, next year my boyfriend and another best friend will be back from studying abroad, so I’m sure senior year will be exciting.
However, despite all this, I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough and that time is slipping away. I worry I’m not involved in enough student organizations, haven’t taken as many classes I love as I should have, haven’t attended enough parties, haven’t built enough connections with professors, and that I’m not spending enough time with friends. As for my romantic life, I’m still getting used to that; my boyfriend is my first, but we only dated for a short time before he went abroad, leaving me feeling uncertain about our relationship and its future. I find it hard to be present, and I often compare myself to others who seem to be having a more fulfilling college experience.
I keep wondering what else I can do with my time and how I can fit more into my schedule. I miss the freshness of being a freshman, when everything felt new and exciting, and I was constantly surrounded by people. I struggled with depression during my sophomore year and feel like I missed out on a significant part of college life, leaving me with regrets about opportunities that have slipped away. Even though my freshman and junior years have been great, I can’t shake the feeling that as I approach my senior year, my time is running out, and there’s not much left to do. I find myself grieving the thought of graduating in just 15 months without having done more or experienced everything I wanted. I dread the idea of leaving my friends and stepping out of this college bubble, knowing that life will become tougher and lonelier. The reality of becoming a “real adult” out in the world terrifies me.
Is anyone else feeling this way? I’d really appreciate any advice you might have, as I feel like I’m ruining my last bit of time by constantly worrying about what I haven’t done yet. It’s challenging to shift my focus to enjoying the present. I’m a sentimental person, and the idea of graduating fills me with anxiety and sadness, and I truly don’t want to grow up and lose the connections I have here.
First off, it’s completely understandable to feel this way as you approach the end of such a transformative time in your life. College is a unique experience, and it’s natural to want to make the most of it. But it’s important to take a step back and recognize how much you are doing. You’ve built a rich and fulfilling college life with activities that resonate with your values, formed strong friendships, and are actively engaging in community service.
It’s common for students to feel pressure to maximize every moment, leading to comparisons with others, which can be tough. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and your college experience is valid and meaningful, regardless of how it stacks up against someone else’s.
Here are a few suggestions to help you feel more at peace with your journey:
Practice Gratitude: Try keeping a journal where you note down experiences, friends, or moments that brought you joy each week. Reflecting on the positives can help shift your focus from what you feel you’re missing to what you’ve already accomplished.
Set Realistic Goals: Instead of overwhelming yourself with the idea of doing more, consider setting smaller, achievable goals that enhance your current experience. For example, if you want to connect more with professors, maybe aim to have a conversation with a different one each week rather than trying to spend more hours in offices.
Focus on Quality Over Quantity: It’s not about how many organizations you’re in or parties you attend, but the depth of the connections you build and the experiences you have. Prioritize the activities and people that truly matter to you.
Cherish Your Relationships: Invest time in your existing friendships. Whether it’s weekly games nights, movie marathons, or simply catching up over coffee, strengthening your bonds can create lasting memories.
Accept Change: Remember that change is a part of life, and while it can be scary, it can also lead to new opportunities and experiences. It might help to try to shift your perspective on graduating—not as an end, but as a new chapter.
Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness exercises that encourage you to stay present. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or even yoga can help you ground yourself in the moment.
It’s okay to feel nostalgic and apprehensive about the future. Embrace your feelings, but don’t let them overshadow the beautiful moments you’re creating now. You still have time left in college, and it can be filled with remembered joy if you focus on living in the present. You’re not ruining your time; you’re on your unique path, and that’s perfectly okay. You’ve got this!