How to Make Friends in College, A Guide

A Guide to Making Friends in College

I created this guide in response to the many posts I’ve seen about young people struggling to make connections in today’s internet-driven world. Earlier today, I wrote a detailed comment to help someone who seemed to be having a hard time, only for him to delete the post before he could read it. So, I’m sharing my thoughts here in hopes that they might benefit others facing similar challenges.

During my college years, I experienced a time when I felt friendless. But through my journey, I learned valuable strategies that helped me build a close-knit friend group of over a dozen people. Here’s what made a difference for me:

1. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

While this might sound cliché, being around others helps to strengthen your social skills. When you’re ready to meet new people, your conversation abilities will feel more natural. One great way to start is by going to places where you’re slightly vulnerable—like the gym. Gradually increase your exposure by attending study sessions, career fairs, or volunteer opportunities where spontaneous conversations can arise.

For a quick way to develop social skills, consider working as a cashier part-time. This job puts you in contact with numerous strangers each day, making it an excellent environment for practice. Instead of merely ringing up items, engage customers in conversation. A good opener could be: “Hi, how are you today? Do you have your loyalty card?” Follow up with inquiries based on their responses—people appreciate sharing about themselves, which can help keep the dialogue flowing.

For example, if a woman mentions that she’s excited about her son’s play, respond by asking questions related to her statement, such as:

• “That’s great! What’s the name of the play?”
• “How old is your son?”
• “Is he nervous about performing?”

Listening actively is crucial here, and don’t feel discouraged if your first attempts aren’t perfect—you’re simply practicing!

2. Explore Your Interests and Get Involved

Reflect on your hobbies and career interests, writing them down. Next, check out your university’s club directory to find groups that resonate with you. No matter how niche your interests are, there are likely others who share them. Joining clubs is a fantastic way to foster a sense of community.

Attend meetings regularly, making a point to introduce yourself to new members and connect with the leadership. They can help you meet others and get involved in activities. Repeat this experience with various clubs to widen your social circle.

3. Be Patient but Proactive

While college is an excellent place to forge friendships, it’s important to understand that making friends can be more challenging after graduation. Therefore, while you’re building connections, be active but don’t rush. Avoid getting overly attached to the first person who shows you interest. Let relationships develop organically over time, allowing rapport to grow in the original setting.

Meet multiple people simultaneously without overinvesting in any single connection. Not every interaction will spark a friendship, and that’s okay. Recognize that many people may just become acquaintances, while only a few might become close friends. Gradually, you could expand your network further as your new friends introduce you to theirs—creating even more opportunities for connection.

Creating friendships takes time and effort, so be patient as you navigate this process.

Final Thoughts

Here are some additional pieces of advice to consider:

• Social Mobility: Building friendships can feel like acquiring wealth—initially difficult, but once you have a few, it gets easier. A strong friend group can facilitate more connections, similar to the concept of compound interest.

• Avoid Shallow Connections: Be cautious when forming friendships based solely on shared vices. If you choose to distance yourself from them later, it can strain your connection.

• Embrace the Journey: It’s normal to encounter challenges when navigating social situations in college. You’re not alone; many others are facing the same struggles.

• Seek Support if Needed: Don