I’m really worried about my friend. I’m not sure if anyone will see this, but just to give some context, we’re all 16. My friend D is honestly the sweetest person I know—she’s incredibly kind and smart, and it’s genuine. The fact that she doesn’t have social media (which is important) means she’s not familiar with a lot of the “online” stuff that goes on.
In our year group, we’re split into two sides, and on my side, some of the most popular guys are really awful. Sure, there are some nice ones, but most are just terrible. As the oldest in the school, they act out in class by throwing textbooks, overturning chairs, and completely disregarding teachers, often to the point of making them cry. I get that not every moment needs to be spent studying, but they constantly disrupt lessons just to hurl insults at girls and throw things, like textbooks and scissors. Just the other day, one girl got her finger cut from their antics, and they didn’t care at all. One time, when we had a substitute teacher, they trashed the classroom and then blamed it on my friend group, which sparked their anger towards us.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago—someone created a fake TikTok account impersonating D. Many people have reported it, but of course, TikTok hasn’t done anything. The account has been reposting awful things “as her,” and it’s really upsetting. D wants to find out who’s behind it, and we have a strong suspicion it’s this guy we used to be friends with before he changed for the worse.
Today was D’s birthday, and instead of celebrating, those guys wouldn’t stop mocking her in class. She finally reached her breaking point, told them to leave her alone, and ran out of the classroom. This came right after she had asked them to stop bothering her because it was really getting under her skin. Now she’s been messaging me, and they’ve continued to post more mocking comments on that fake account. She’s been having panic attacks over this, and it breaks my heart to see her like this. I feel helpless, and as usual, the teachers haven’t taken any action. What can I do?
I’m really sorry to hear about what your friend D is going through. It sounds like an incredibly tough situation, and it’s heartbreaking to see someone as sweet and kind as her being treated this way. It’s clear that she doesn’t deserve any of the harassment and bullying she’s experiencing.
Supporting D is essential right now. Here are a few suggestions on how you might help her:
Be There for Her: Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just listen. Let her express how she’s feeling, and remind her that she has friends who care about her.
Encourage Her to Report: While it seems like reporting the account might not lead to immediate action, encourage D to keep reporting it, and maybe even involve a trusted adult again. Some schools have resources or procedures for dealing with bullying that might help.
Document Everything: It can be useful to document the bullying, including screenshots of the fake account and any messages or actions from the people involved. This can help if she decides to take further action.
Remind Her She’s Not Alone: Let her know that she has a support system. If you can, rally some other friends to show their support too. A united front can sometimes help discourage bullies.
Help Her Focus on Positive Things: Encourage her to do activities she enjoys or to spend time with people who uplift her. It’s important for her to find joy in things outside of the negativity.
Promote Positive Change: If you feel comfortable, consider speaking up in class when the bullying happens, or finding a way to address it as a group. Sometimes just having allies can make a difference.
Professional Help: If D continues to experience panic attacks or is severely affected by this, it might be beneficial for her to talk to a counselor or mental health professional.
Remember to take care of yourself, too. Supporting a friend through something like this can be emotionally taxing. You’re doing great by being there for her, and it’s okay to seek support for yourself as well.