Feeling Frustrated with My Classmates
I need to vent a little about my classmates in my cooking program, which I’m currently halfway through. The program is for teens aged 16–18, and honestly, I’m not enjoying the social aspect at all.
Let’s talk about one classmate in particular, who I’ll call P. From the start, P and I just didn’t click. It began with unsolicited comments on my cooking style and some “jokes” which, to be honest, felt more hurtful than funny. Recently, I received a great grade on a dish I put a lot of effort into, and P decided to mock my accomplishment. They made a comment to a friend about how my dish was low quality and that I only got a good grade as a pity gesture. What made it worse was that they said this loud enough for me to hear, which is unfortunately typical behavior for P. They often come across as arrogant, thinking they’re better than everyone else.
Aside from P, I’ve noticed some other annoying habits among my classmates. For instance, it’s frustrating to see people vaping everywhere—even in the bathroom. I’ve witnessed several classmates clouding a small space with smoke, which is pretty gross. Others seem to find amusement in throwing things around, like full water bottles, leading to a chaotic atmosphere. And then there are those who just can’t seem to stop arguing with our teacher.
There’s also R, who constantly brags about his family’s wealth, often while cleaning up in my area. I’ve asked him to tone it down, but my partner, who is too timid to speak up, allows it to continue, leaving me feeling disrespected and sidelined.
To make matters worse, there was an incident where someone falsely accused me of sabotaging their dish by taking a container of salt that I never even prepared. I came back from a break to find myself being blamed for something completely ridiculous, and it was incredibly frustrating.
I’m not sure if there’s a way to handle this situation or if I should just stick it out until the end of the course, hoping that when I advance to the next level, I’ll be placed in a different group. I tend to be socially awkward and avoid confrontation, which makes dealing with all of this even more challenging. Any advice on how to navigate this would be much appreciated.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a really tough situation, and I can understand why you feel frustrated and disheartened. Navigating group dynamics, especially in a program that requires teamwork, can be challenging, especially with someone like P who seems to be causing unnecessary tension. Here are a few suggestions that might help you cope with the situation:
Communicate: If you feel comfortable, try having a calm, direct conversation with P about their comments. Sometimes, people don’t realize how their words affect others, and addressing it might help. If that feels too confrontational, consider discussing it with a trusted instructor or mentor who can intervene.
Focus on Your Goals: Remember why you’re in this program. Keep your focus on your cooking skills and your grades. It sounds like you’re doing well academically, so try to channel any frustration into your passion for cooking.
Find Allies: Look for classmates who share your frustrations or work ethic. Building connections with like-minded people can help combat the negativity. You might find that you’re not alone in feeling this way.
Set Boundaries: It’s okay to distance yourself from individuals who bring negativity into your life. If certain classmates continue to act disrespectfully, it might be best to limit your interactions with them.
Report Incidents: If the behaviors of your classmates escalate, consider reporting them to a teacher or counselor. You deserve a supportive and respectful learning environment.
Stay Positive: Surround yourself with positive influences outside of the classroom, whether in hobbies, friends, or family. This can help you build resilience against negativity from your classmates.
Plan for the Future: If it feels unbearable, holding out until the end of the course might be an option, but you could also explore ways to transfer to another group or program if that’s possible.
It’s admirable that you want to avoid drama, but your feelings and experiences matter too. Try to advocate for yourself in a way that feels right for you, and prioritize your own well-being as you move forward. Good luck!