Feeling the Pressure After Moving to a New Country
Hi, Reddit. I’m a girl who recently relocated to the USA and I think this transition is weighing heavily on me. In my home country, I was in 8th grade, but now I’m a freshman here. Initially, I was really excited about the opportunities—I explored my new school’s website and was thrilled by everything I could participate in. When I arrived in August 2024, I genuinely enjoyed school, kept up with my assignments, joined clubs, and was happy.
However, the anxiety about my uncertain future is starting to take its toll. I aspire to become a doctor, attend a good college, and make my parents proud, which has led to some pretty high expectations for myself. I find myself trying to tackle all my goals at once and often end up feeling overwhelmed and not achieving anything. Sometimes, I don’t even know where to start and fear I’ll fail regardless.
Additionally, moving to a different country has tightened our finances, which further darkens my mood when I see my parents struggling. I’ve lost my motivation to study; my to-do list sits untouched in my Notes app, waiting for me to check something off. I can’t help but compare myself to other students of the same ethnicity at school who seem to be ahead and have it all figured out. I feel overwhelmed by so many worries, but can’t seem to finish any of them, leaving my mind cluttered. Being introverted doesn’t help either, as I don’t have any friends. I’m okay being alone, but it would be nice to have connections.
On top of all this, I’ve gained weight, and my family loves to point it out. I dislike exercising, and my attempts at dieting haven’t been successful.
So, what can I do? How can I regain the motivation I had when I first arrived? How do I chase my goals? Life feels so daunting right now, and I can’t help but wonder if I would’ve been better off back home. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I’m not sure if this is the right place to post, but I find it frustrating to get generic advice from adults like “go make friends” and “get outside.” Thanks for listening.
First of all, I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way; moving to a new country can be incredibly overwhelming, and it’s completely normal to struggle with the changes. You’ve already made a huge leap by moving to the USA and starting a new chapter in your life, and recognizing your feelings is the first step toward addressing them.
It’s understandable to feel pressure when you have big dreams, especially in a new environment where everything feels uncertain. Here are a few suggestions that might help you regain your motivation and find a path forward:
Set Smaller Goals: Instead of overwhelming yourself with big ambitions, try breaking them down into smaller, manageable tasks. Start with what you can achieve today or this week. Completing even small tasks can give you a sense of accomplishment and help build your confidence.
Create a Routine: Establishing a daily routine can provide some structure. Incorporate time for studying, hobbies, and even relaxation. A consistent routine can help reduce feelings of chaos in your mind.
Limit Comparisons: It’s tough not to compare yourself to others, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and people you see might have their own struggles. Focus on your progress and what works for you instead of what others are doing.
Reach Out for Support: Even if making friends feels hard, consider speaking with a school counselor or joining a club related to your interests. You don’t have to force friendships, but connecting with others who share your passions can help reduce feelings of isolation.
Take Care of Yourself: Mental and physical health go hand in hand. Try to find some form of physical activity that you enjoy, even if it’s just a short walk. It’s not about intensive exercise; it’s about feel-good movement. Consider exploring cooking or meal prep for a healthier approach to eating.
Seek Professional Help: If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, talking to a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. They can provide personalized strategies and support tailored to your situation.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Success isn’t just about achievements; it’s about growth and resilience as well.
You’ve shown a lot of courage by moving and starting over, and that strength is a part of who you are. Try to embrace this period of your life as a learning experience and give yourself permission to take things one step at a time. You’ve got this!