I want to tap into my aggressive side.
I’ve always been more of a cheerful person, and I tend to feel guilty about my actions, which makes me say “sorry” for even the smallest things. My dad often comments that when my adrenaline kicks in, I don’t shift into “fight” mode—it’s always “flight” for me.
I’ve had multiple coaches and teachers advise me to embrace a more aggressive and assertive attitude in sports and in life, but I struggle with how to do that without letting anger take over. When I do get angry, it often leads to tears and panic attacks. There’s a fear in me of being aggressive, as I don’t want to hurt anyone or risk being disliked.
I recently joined a water polo team, and I have my first game on Monday. If anyone has tips on how to channel aggression in a positive way or build my confidence, I would really appreciate it!
It’s great that you’re reflecting on your mindset and looking to grow in your sports! First, remember that being aggressive doesn’t mean being angry or harmful; it’s more about channeling your energy and assertiveness in a positive way. Here are a few tips to help you tap into that competitive edge while staying true to who you are:
Redefine Aggression: Think of aggression as assertiveness instead. It’s about being proactive, taking initiative, and showing determination. It doesn’t have to involve anger or conflict.
Visualize Success: Before your game, spend a few minutes visualizing yourself playing confidently and assertively. Picture scenarios where you take charge and play aggressively—this can help mentally prepare you for the game.
Set Small Goals: Focus on specific actions you want to take during the game, like going for the ball more, taking shots, or pushing yourself against opponents. Small goals can make it easier to break out of your comfort zone.
Channel Your Energy: Instead of seeing adrenaline as just a “fight or flight” response, think of it as fuel. When you feel that rush, use it to drive your performance and decision-making on the field.
Practice Assertiveness: In practice, try to adopt a more assertive communication style. Speak up more, share your ideas, and take risks. This can help you build confidence in your assertiveness.
Stay Positive: Remind yourself that being aggressive in sports is about playing to win and enjoying the game, not about hurting others or being unkind. Your intention matters!
Breathe and Ground Yourself: If you start to feel overwhelmed, take deep breaths and ground yourself in the moment. Focus on your breath and remind yourself of your goals for the game.
Reflect Post-Game: After your game, reflect on what went well and what you can improve. Acknowledge your efforts to be more assertive, regardless of the outcome.
Talk to Your Coach: Share your goals with your coach. They can give you specific strategies to help you cultivate that assertiveness on the field.
Be Kind to Yourself: Lastly, remember that growth takes time. It’s okay to not change overnight. Celebrate your progress and be patient with yourself.
Good luck with your water polo game! Embrace the challenge, and remember, your unique blend of positivity and determination can make a big impact!