I’m tired of popularity defining everyone

I’m really fed up with how popularity seems to dictate everyone’s worth.

I attended a tiny middle school where we all knew each other, and cliques were virtually nonexistent. There might have been a bit of light drama now and then, but nothing too serious. Then I transitioned to high school, which brought together students from a multitude of schools. On orientation day, it struck me that out of around 500 kids, at least 100 different schools fed into this one.

Right from the start, freshman year’s student government election focused more on “who gave the funniest speech” or “who’s popular”. I didn’t pay much attention to it since I was that nerdy kid just trying to stay focused on my studies. But I couldn’t help but notice that many of the guys were elected simply because they played football. It’s frustrating to see them win positions while contributing nothing; honestly, they are some of the laziest people around and are supposed to represent our class.

Sophomore year was even more disheartening. The same pattern repeated itself, with popular students dominating the elections again. Out of our nine student government members, only two are genuinely committed, while the rest seem to care more about the title than the responsibilities. I’m exhausted from watching student government turn into a popularity contest.

And it goes beyond just student government; school itself feels like one big popularity contest. This year, three of my friends dropped me because I didn’t fit into their idea of what was popular. I do have a few connections with popular kids, but they often seem to use these friendships for social gain, ignoring you the moment someone of higher status shows up. They’ll share a few words with you but then act like they’re best friends with someone else just to elevate their own social standing.

What’s worse is that many popular kids aren’t even exceptional at anything. They’ve simply gained popularity through luck, looks, or their connections with other popular kids. I remember freshman year as a time when everyone stuck to their own friend groups and the concept of “popularity” was less pronounced. Now, it’s a clear divide: you’re either in the popular crowd or you’re not.

I’m really done with the idea that popularity defines who you are. Is there any chance the high school system could be reformed?

One Reply to “I’m tired of popularity defining everyone”

  1. I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s frustrating to see how popularity can overshadow talent and commitment, especially in spaces like student government where leadership should be about drive and responsibility, not just charm or athletic ability. High school can seem like a minefield of social dynamics, and it’s difficult when superficial factors dictate friendships and opportunities.

    It’s disappointing to lose friends over social status. True friends should stick by you regardless of popularity or social standing. It’s unfortunate that some people prioritize appearances over genuine connections. It’s a common struggle—many people feel the pressure to conform to popularity norms, even when it doesn’t reflect who they truly are.

    Have you thought about creating a supportive community or group with like-minded individuals? Sometimes it helps to find others who value authenticity over status. And remember, high school is just a small part of your life. The skills you develop and the relationships you build based on mutual respect will serve you much better in the long run than any title or social standing. Hang in there! You’re not alone in feeling this way, and your perspective is valuable.

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