Is anyone else feeling insecure about not measuring up to other students’ accomplishments?
I’m currently a sophomore, and I feel pretty average—no internships, no standout extracurriculars, and no leadership roles to speak of. While I maintain a solid GPA, I feel like I’m putting in every ounce of mental effort just to keep it up while juggling a part-time job. I don’t have the energy to send out countless applications or socialize like some of my peers do. I’m putting myself out there for internships and attending recruiting events, but when nothing comes of it, I can’t help but feel defeated and hopeless.
Most days, the only motivation I have to get out of bed, spend hours in class, and study is the thought of unwinding with some mobile games. I’m losing faith that all this effort will lead to a good job.
It seems like everyone around me either has a clear path with plenty of internships and relevant experience or they’re totally laid-back about not doing much at all (and honestly, I envy them). But there’s a part of me that feels like giving up, even though I know I can’t.
How do you cope with the constant anxiety that you won’t accomplish anything in college or in life? Especially for fellow Asian students, dealing with relatives or acquaintances who pass judgment on your achievements and make passive-aggressive comments? I have friends who graduated recently and are already successful in their early to mid-twenties, and they often tell me that if I just worked harder, I’d land an internship. Their pressure can be really overwhelming, making me feel like I lack ambition.
How do you manage to stay so unbothered by it all?
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially during college when there seems to be so much pressure to succeed and compare yourself to others. First, just know that you’re not alone in feeling insecure or unaccomplished—many students feel this way, and it’s often a lot more common than it seems.
It sounds like you’re doing a lot already, balancing classes and a part-time job while maintaining a good GPA. That in itself is an accomplishment! It’s easy to get caught in the trap of comparing ourselves to others, especially when people seem to be excelling and doing more. Remember, everyone’s path is different, and your journey, though it feels challenging right now, is unique to you.
One way to cope with these feelings could be to set smaller, more manageable goals rather than trying to tackle everything at once. Instead of sending out hundreds of applications, maybe focus on a few that truly interest you or fit your skills. Quality over quantity can make a big difference and might help reduce the pressure you’re feeling.
It’s also okay to take a break sometimes and prioritize your mental health. Playing games or engaging in activities that help you unwind is essential; finding balance is key. As for dealing with family expectations and judgments, it might help to remind yourself that their paths and experiences might not reflect your own. Everyone has their timeline, and it’s okay if yours looks different.
Lastly, consider reaching out to a mentor or counselor at your school. They can provide guidance, support, and a fresh perspective on how to navigate this time in your life. You’re clearly trying your best, and that effort counts for a lot—even if it doesn’t always feel like it. Hang in there; things can and often do get better!