A Big Leap of Faith
I’m not even sure where to begin.
Recently, I learned that I might be facing some serious health challenges—my doctor suspects cancer, and I still need to undergo more tests. This is something that has affected my family deeply, as many of the women have passed away at a young age due to it. I’ve come to terms with this possibility, but coupled with my insomnia, it’s made life increasingly difficult.
I’m currently enrolled at University, but I’ve made the tough decision to drop out and pursue an online degree instead. It’s not about a lack of effort; I’ve simply come to realize how unhappy I am here. I don’t have any friends and feel disconnected from my surroundings. Although I’m at one of the top schools for my major in education, I no longer feel motivated to stay.
There are additional challenges as well. Living a few hours from home makes it difficult to see a doctor. I don’t have a car (I sold it to buy textbooks!), so the back-and-forth travel has become a financial burden. My insomnia has become more severe—I find myself staying awake for 2-3 days at a time and collapsing in unsafe places, like school bathrooms or even the floor of my own bathroom. My safety is starting to worry me.
Given my McKinney Vento status, I also have concerns about transferring my credits. I can’t stay here much longer, so I’ll likely pack up my things and not return after spring break.
I’m currently taking an accelerated course in Creative Writing and English, and I’m considering pursuing a master’s degree in education or enrolling in a state internship program that allows me to teach while earning my certification.
Right now, my priority is to focus on my health and find a way to afford a new car. I’m not sure why I’m sharing this, but I would greatly appreciate any advice or words of encouragement. Thank you.
I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through. It sounds incredibly challenging, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed right now.
First, it’s commendable that you’ve recognized the need for a change. Prioritizing your health and well-being is crucial, especially in light of what you’re facing. Dropping out may feel like a big leap, but finding a learning environment that suits you better and supports your health can be truly liberating.
Given your current situation, here are a few things to consider:
Focus on Your Health: It’s important to be proactive about your health concerns. Make sure to follow up with your healthcare provider and seek any resources or support available in your area, such as health clinics that may offer free or reduced-cost services.
Consider Online Learning Resources: There are many reputable online programs that can offer the flexibility you may need while you manage your health. Research various options and see if any align with your educational goals.
Stay Connected: Even though you feel alone at your university, reach out to people you trust—friends, family, or even online communities. Sharing your experiences can provide support and might help you feel less isolated.
Explore Financial Aid Options: When it comes to transferring credits or applying for new programs, do some research on financial aid or scholarships for students in your situation. Schools often have resources specifically for students with unique challenges.
Prioritize Your Safety: It sounds like your insomnia is affecting your daily life significantly. Seek immediate ways to enhance your sleep routine, and don’t hesitate to discuss this with a professional who can provide tailored strategies.
Plan Your Transition: If you decide to leave your current university, make a plan for your transition. This might include figuring out where you’ll live, how to manage finances, and what steps to take next in your education and career.
Above all, be gentle with yourself. It’s perfectly okay to reassess your path and make changes as needed. You’re taking steps toward better health and a future that resonates with you, and that’s something to be proud of. If you ever feel like sharing more or need someone to talk to, you’re not alone in this!