My friend and I just can’t seem to get along anymore.
We’ve been buddies for quite some time, but things have changed recently. It all started during our P.E. class with a new coach—let’s call him H. He implemented a rather strict rule: if anyone got in trouble with the office, the whole class would have to run laps around the football field at full speed.
Now, another friend of mine—let’s call him G—and I have been managing the high school football team, and after the season wrapped up, we started participating in regular class activities, including the ones H introduced. This back-and-forth between managing and normal class activities has been going on for roughly two nine-week periods.
During our middle school football season, which lasted about a month, 10 people from our class were sent to the office. That meant we had to run 10 laps around the football field, totaling about 2 miles. I believe I could handle a 2-mile run pretty easily, but H thinks otherwise, claiming I wouldn’t even be able to do 1 mile simply because I don’t lift weights or train as much as he does.
Things spiraled when we got into an argument over Discord. G chimed in occasionally, asking small questions but not really taking a side.
Before diving into the main issue, let me give you some context about our P.E. class. We typically spend around 5-10 minutes warming up and another 5-10 doing general strength exercises, mostly core workouts. I have consistently participated in these activities for about 9 weeks now, while H and our classmates have also been doing hurdles—as if the regular workouts weren’t tough enough! G and I have never taken part in the hurdles or the football runs, while others had to do around 20-30 laps at one point.
So, back to the conversation: G asked if I was ready to run the 10 laps. I said it wouldn’t be that bad. He replied that it was a nightmare for him, mainly because he isn’t built like me—I’m on the skinny side while he’s a little heavier (sorry, G, but it’s true!). H jumped in, saying, “Bro, if you run, you’ll be dying.” G agreed.
I then crunched some numbers and realized that running 10 laps means running up and down a high school basketball court 126 times. If I take the average speed of a middle schooler, it would take around 80-90 minutes to run that distance without breaks. Since P.E. is only an hour long, that’s already problematic—add in our 20 minutes of warm-ups and strength training, and we’d have about 20 minutes left for the laps.
Considering we also have to spend around 20 minutes on hurdles, that takes another chunk out of our time. In total, we’d be left with just about 20 minutes of P.E. left for the actual running—which wouldn’t be possible to finish in one class period. Plus, G and I just watch the hurdles instead of participating.
We kept going back and forth over the issue, and somehow the conversation shifted to our grades. H mentioned he cares about all his classes while I asserted that he doesn’t, even if he has slightly better grades—he has to study at home. Meanwhile, I haven’t studied for any class since 2nd grade, yet I still score pretty close to him, typically second-best in our grade.
At this point, I’ve kind of just let it go and moved on. If this post is allowed on the platform, I might share screenshots of our conversation for further context.
It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time with your friend and the dynamics have shifted quite a bit. It’s not uncommon for friendships to hit rough patches, especially during stressful times like sports and school. From what you’ve shared, it seems like a lot of your conflict with H stems from misunderstandings about ability and effort in physical activities, as well as a potential clash of personalities.
Here are a few things to consider that might help clear the air:
Communicate Openly: If you haven’t already, consider talking to H directly. Let him know how you feel and that you want to clear up any misunderstandings. Sometimes, just being honest about your thoughts can help solidify the friendship.
Focus on Positives: It seems like a lot of your conversation has revolved around competition and who can do what. Maybe try shifting the focus to the things you all enjoy together or the strengths each of you bring to the friendship.
Understanding Differences: Everyone has different capabilities, and even if H is more competitive, it doesn’t diminish your own strengths. Try to acknowledge and appreciate each other’s differences rather than letting them divide you.
Involve G: Since G seems to be caught in the middle, maybe involve him in a more constructive way. You could all discuss how to approach P.E. and workouts together, or even support each other in finding activities you can enjoy as a group.
Take a Break: If things get too heated, it’s okay to take a step back. Sometimes distance can help you both gain perspective on the situation.
Remember, friendships can go through ups and downs, and sometimes it can take a little effort to find your way back to a good place. Good luck!