My $24k Scholarship May Have Changed My Life for the Worse
Hi everyone,
I’m a 19-year-old sophomore majoring in Chemical Engineering, and I’m at a challenging crossroads right now. After failing my physics midterm (though I still have a C overall), I find myself contemplating dropping out. This semester has been incredibly tough, so I apologize in advance for the lengthy post.
To give you some context, I received a nearly full scholarship covering my tuition for four years, a year of free housing, and $500 each semester, in addition to another scholarship that provides $3,000 per semester as long as I remain in engineering. Unfortunately, a toxic roommate situation took a significant toll on my GPA and academic performance, putting my scholarships in jeopardy. Last semester, I was on probation and managed to pull a 3.2 GPA (after moving into a studio), but this semester has seen my grades plummet to around a 1.25 (with one A and two Fs).
I’ve been grappling with a daily 8 AM lecture (after biking for 7-15 minutes in cold and sometimes rainy/snowy weather), extreme burnout, undiagnosed mental health challenges that have been escalating since middle school, and issues like insomnia (which makes studying difficult). My financial situation also suffers; last semester, I was only eating one meal a day, but now I need to eat 2-3 times to feel okay, even though my rent is nearly $2000 a month and I don’t have a job or a car.
Given that I’ve already been on probation, I doubt I’ll get another chance if things don’t improve this semester. I’m seriously questioning whether to stick with engineering, switch majors, or even leave college altogether. While I’m grateful for the $24k scholarship, I can’t help but feel burdened by it. I’d have been better off in a field like biology, where I’ve consistently excelled. During high school, I was at the top of my class in a CNA program, yet the risks and struggles I’m facing with Chemical Engineering feel overwhelming, and my GPA is about to take a serious hit, which could jeopardize my federal aid.
The coursework is demanding, requiring a level of critical thinking and processing that doesn’t come naturally to me. I grasp the concepts eventually, but it takes too long, leaving me feeling inadequate after performing poorly on tests. I dislike the looks I get from professors when I ask questions, as if they can’t understand me, and I often feel ignored when I reach out for help. Their attitudes can feel elitist, and it’s disheartening.
I’m exploring certificate programs in areas like dental lab tech or pharmacy tech because I want a stable job with a predictable routine, away from chaotic customer service roles. Ideally, I want to find work that allows for some independence and enable me to afford my own safe living space with nutritious food—I’m tired of relying on cheap junk food. I’m not chasing a six-figure salary; I just want security and distance from family issues.
Additionally, I’m looking into online job opportunities, even though my resume mainly consists of a few customer service roles, the longest lasting six months. I’m unsure if companies would take me seriously given my age and limited experience in that area. If anyone has tips on how to successfully present myself for online positions or recommendations for job search sites, I would greatly appreciate your insights.
TL;DR: Should I switch majors and try to push through college, or is it wiser to explore alternative career paths like a certificate program or online work, even if it leads to judgment from others? What steps can I take to achieve stability and independence given my current situation?
Thank you for any honest advice or personal experiences you’d be willing to share. I welcome all input!
Hey there,
First off, I want to commend you for being so open about your struggles—it takes a lot of courage to do that, and it’s clear you’re in a tough spot right now. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, especially with the immense pressure of academics and life transitions at your age.
Given what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re really reflecting on what you want and need for a stable and fulfilling life. Here are a few thoughts that might help you consider your next steps:
Evaluate Your Current Major: If you genuinely dislike Chemical Engineering and find it doesn’t suit your strengths or interests, it might be worth exploring other majors that align more closely with your passions and skills, like biology or something related to health sciences. Switching majors doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re striving to find what truly fits you.
Mental Health Matters: Your mental health is crucial—don’t overlook it. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to seek out resources on campus, such as counseling services. They can provide support, guidance, and tools to help you manage your stress and any underlying issues.
Financial Stability and Work Options: It sounds like you’re already considering alternative paths (like certificate programs or online work), which could offer a more stable and fulfilling lifestyle. Research job markets for the fields you’re interested in, and consider starting with online courses related to those areas to see if they resonate with you. Websites like Coursera or Udemy can offer affordable introductory courses.
Job Search Strategies: For online positions, focus on tailoring your resume and cover letter to highlight your customer service skills and any transferable skills. Sites like Upwork and Fiverr can be great for finding flexible, remote work that matches your skill set. Networking through platforms like LinkedIn could also open up doors—connect with professionals in the fields you’re interested in.
Consider Part-Time Work: If you can manage it, a part-time job might not only provide financial support but also help you gain experience while you figure out your academic path. Look for roles that align with your interests; even if they seem unrelated to your long-term goals, they can provide valuable skills and experience.
Involve Support Systems: Talk to mentors, family, or friends about your situation. They might offer insights or resources that you haven’t considered. Sometimes, a different perspective can help clarify your feelings and options.
Ultimately, you know yourself best. Trust that gut feeling about what you enjoy and want for your future. Whatever path you choose, remember it’s okay to pivot if something isn’t working for you. You have the power to shape your own journey, and that’s what matters most.
Wishing you all the best as you navigate this decision—take it one step at a time, and know that it’s okay to ask for help along the way.
Take care!