Warning: Concern About My Form Tutor
I need some advice. I’m in Year 8 (F) and we have a new form tutor, Mr. L, who also teaches geography. Initially, he seemed to favor me because I stay focused in class, but my feelings have changed. He has strict rules, punishing the whole class if one person does something wrong, and it feels unfair.
I’ve also noticed that he seems to favor the girls, despite them not misbehaving much. Lately, I’ve witnessed some behaviors that make me uncomfortable. For instance, he often looks girls up and down when he says their names. There was an incident where he touched a Year 7’s hand; at first, I thought it was accidental, but her friend insisted it was inappropriate. Another Year 7 went into his room alone and came out crying, which was concerning.
He gets too close when talking to me and has made inappropriate comments about my friend’s family issues. On Valentine’s Day, he asked about my friend’s roses in a way that felt strange. He even called my mum and seemed suspiciously interested in why I wasn’t in class.
Mr. L treats me differently than others, letting me off for things he normally punishes others for. His behavior makes me uncomfortable—I often feel on edge around him. When I reported his unprofessionalism to our Head of Year, Mr. O dismissed our concerns, claiming we were the problem. Mr. L has also told several students to get tested for ADHD and autism in a way that seems unprofessional.
He often belittles us, telling my friend to “shut up” and calling her stupid over something minor. He even pulled me out of class to criticize another friend. When I tried to stand up for her, he guilt-tripped me for it.
Mr. L’s lecture about how we should know everything in geography since we have internet access felt patronizing. He uses religion inappropriately during discussions and has double standards in discipline, punishing a girl for defending herself while letting the boy go free.
It feels like he’s trying to manipulate me into silence, especially when he criticized me for telling my friend what he said. His actions are creepy and pettish, and I genuinely dislike the situation. What should I do?
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way about your form tutor. It sounds like a very uncomfortable and concerning situation. It’s important to prioritize your safety and well-being, so here are some steps you can take:
Talk to Someone You Trust: It could be a parent, guardian, or another trusted teacher. Share your experiences and feelings about Mr. L. They may offer support and help you figure out what to do next.
Document Everything: Keep a record of any incidents that make you uncomfortable or that you think are inappropriate. Write down dates, times, and what happened. This information can be helpful if you decide to make a formal report.
Consider Speaking to Another Teacher or a School Counselor: If your Head of Year didn’t take your concerns seriously, it might be helpful to speak to someone else in a position of authority, like another teacher or a school counselor. They can provide guidance and support.
Reach Out to Friends: Talk to your friends who may have witnessed similar behavior. Having their support can empower you to take action together.
Know Your Rights: Understand that you have the right to feel safe and respected at school. No teacher should make you or your classmates feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Consider Reporting It: If the behavior continues or escalates, consider reporting it formally to your school’s administration. Use the documentation you’ve collected to support your case.
Remember, it’s really important to speak up about how you feel. You deserve to have a safe and supportive learning environment. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.