My partner is struggling mentally while in university and is considering dropping out. What should I do/say?

My partner is facing significant mental health challenges while in university and is considering dropping out. I could really use some advice on how to help them.

This is my first time posting, and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. My partner has a history of mental health struggles and has been diagnosed with depression and bipolar I disorder. They’ve had difficulty finding the right medication, sticking to a consistent treatment plan, and maintaining healthy coping strategies. Academically, they’ve also faced challenges and have often found it hard to meet their goals.

Recently, things seemed to improve for them. They connected with an excellent therapist and started seeing a new psychiatrist who adjusted their medication. They even managed to earn their associate’s degree after a series of setbacks, which felt like a significant achievement. Encouraged by this progress, my partner decided to apply to a university they’ve dreamed of attending for a long time, a decision they had previously hesitated to make.

However, since starting at this new school, the pressure has begun to weigh heavily on them. They’ve been struggling academically and mentally over the past month, and their medication adherence has become inconsistent. I feel like I’m at a loss for how to support them effectively, and I’m worried that I’m stagnating in my attempts to help, often repeating myself without truly making a difference.

I genuinely want to support my partner and encourage them, but I also don’t want them to feel trapped in a situation that brings them distress. If anyone has experienced something similar or has advice on how I can better support my partner during this difficult time, I would greatly appreciate your insights.

One Reply to “My partner is struggling mentally while in university and is considering dropping out. What should I do/say?”

  1. I’m really sorry to hear that you and your partner are going through such a challenging time. It’s clear that you care deeply about them and want to support them in the best way possible. Here are a few suggestions on how you might approach this situation:

    1. Open the Dialogue: Encourage your partner to express their feelings about their current situation. Let them know that you’re there to listen without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can relieve some pressure.

    2. Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge that what they’re feeling is valid and that it’s okay to struggle. Remind them that it’s alright to re-evaluate their choices if they feel overwhelmed.

    3. Explore Options Together: If they are considering dropping out, have a calm discussion about what that could mean for them. Discuss the pros and cons, and explore alternative paths that might still align with their long-term goals, such as taking a break or reducing their course load.

    4. Encourage Professional Help: Since they’re already seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, gently remind them to continue communicating about their struggles with these professionals. They may need support in navigating their feelings about school.

    5. Check-In on Self-Care: Remind them about the importance of self-care and exploring healthy coping mechanisms, which can help them manage stress and emotions better. Suggest engaging in activities together that they find relaxing or enjoyable.

    6. Support Their Decisions: Ultimately, respect their choices. If they decide that stepping back from their academic goals for a while is what they need, offer your support and reassure them that it’s okay to take a different route.

    7. Encourage Connection: Help your partner stay connected to supportive friends and loved ones. Isolation can make things feel much heavier, and having a support system is crucial.

    8. Remain Patient and Compassionate: Change can be a slow process, and setbacks are often part of the journey. Be patient and compassionate with them, and remind them that you’re there for the long haul.

    It’s wonderful that you’re actively seeking ways to support your partner. Just being there, listening, and showing kindness can mean a lot. Remember to also take care of yourself as you navigate this journey together.

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