Feeling Uneasy about My Teacher’s Treatment?
I’m a 16-year-old (F) and I have a History teacher who’s typically bubbly, expressive, and engaging with the rest of the class. However, I’ve noticed she treats me quite differently. While she’s not rude, there’s a clear contrast in her demeanor around me compared to others.
Here are some observations I’ve made:
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She almost never gives me compliments, even though she regularly praises others for minor things like their outfits or hairstyles. At this point, I feel like I’m the only one she hasn’t complimented.
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She seems to overlook me, but I often catch her watching me when she thinks I can’t see.
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She’s more chatty with students who have friends sitting nearby, but I don’t know anyone in this class.
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While she’s lively with the girls and engaging with the boys, she appears much more reserved and careful around me.
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Occasionally, she’ll quickly check in on me and ask if I’m okay, but these moments feel rushed.
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I tend to initiate conversations, even though I’m not particularly talkative by nature.
Interestingly, people have said that we resemble each other in terms of facial features, hair, mannerisms, and overall style. A friend suggested that I may inadvertently make her uncomfortable because of this resemblance, but that’s beyond my control. While I can see the similarity, I struggle to understand why it would lead a teacher to treat me so differently.
To clarify, I’m not disruptive; I finish my work quickly and generally try to be unobtrusive in class. I expected a more balanced approach from her, yet she seems much more restrained with me. I often feel brushed aside, while she seems cheerful and animated with everyone else.
I’m curious about what could be causing this behavior. I’m not seeking validation, but I would appreciate any insights or advice. I’ve never experienced a teacher who makes me feel overlooked like this. It’s as if I’m both invisible and hyper-visible to her at the same time.
Edit: Additionally, I’m one of the top students in her class, yet she never acknowledges my achievements. There’s another high-performing girl, and she frequently recognizes her contributions, even if they’re minimal.
(Cross-posting as I didn’t receive many insights from my previous post in another community.)
It sounds like you’re in a frustrating situation with your teacher, and it’s completely valid to feel confused and hurt by the way you’ve been treated. Here are a few possible explanations and suggestions:
Personal Bias: Sometimes teachers unconsciously have biases based on personal experiences or feelings. If you and your teacher share similar looks or mannerisms, it might make her feel uncomfortable or somewhat self-conscious, leading her to behave differently around you.
Projection: Your teacher may see something in you that reminds her of herself, which can sometimes lead to her feeling hesitant or unsure how to interact with you. This is not your fault, but a psychological phenomenon that can occur.
Misinterpretation: It’s possible that her reserved behavior isn’t a reflection of her feelings toward you specifically but rather her teaching style or personality when faced with certain students. She might not know how to connect with you in the same way she does with others or may just find it easier to relate to some students over others.
Social Dynamics: You mentioned not having friends in that class, which could contribute to her treating you differently. Teachers often engage more with students who are socially connected, so your lack of friendship circles in class might unintentionally contribute to your feeling of isolation.
Suggestions:
Open Up Dialogue: If you feel comfortable, consider speaking with her one-on-one. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed that you engage a lot with other students, but I feel like there’s a distance between us. Is there something I can do to help bridge that gap?” This might open her up and encourage more interaction.
Seek Feedback: Since you’re a top student, perhaps ask for feedback on your work or projects. This could create an opportunity for her to engage with you more directly.
Talk to Someone: If this situation continues to bother you, consider having a conversation with a school counselor or another teacher you trust. They might offer additional insights or help facilitate a conversation with your history teacher.
Focus on Yourself: Remember that your worth doesn’t depend on how one teacher perceives you. Focus on your achievements and the positive interactions you have with other teachers or students who encourage and recognize your hard work.
Ultimately, while it’s tough to navigate this situation, approaching it with curiosity and openness may lead to better understanding or a change in her behavior. Don’t hesitate to seek support in the meantime!