What do you do when genuinely nice people don’t seem to like you? It’s one thing when unkind people brush you off, but when it’s good people, it makes you wonder what’s wrong with you.
I’ve lost several friends since 9th grade, and now in 11th grade, they still don’t want anything to do with me. Some of them were superficial, but others were truly kind individuals. For the past two and a half years in high school, I’ve been on a journey to better myself. While I’ve made progress in some areas, I’m still left wondering what drove them away. I never considered myself a bad person. Sure, I might have come off as a bit quirky, and maybe I rubbed some people the wrong way, but I’ve always strived to be kind. It’s painful when that kindness doesn’t resonate.
Even unkind people have friends who share their mindset. I just can’t seem to understand what makes me so universally unliked at school. My few close friends can’t quite figure it out either. It’s frustrating.
I know it’s easy to dismiss high school drama with phrases like “oh, high schoolers suck” or “you’ll be done soon,” and while that’s true, I really feel the need to understand what’s going on before graduation.
I desperately hope I’m not one of those people who others think, “Oh, she’s so nice; I wonder why she doesn’t have friends,” only for them to realize the reason and vanish from my life without explanation. I’ve encountered someone like that before, and while I tried to explain my feelings, I’m not sure they really listened.
It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, and I want to acknowledge how valid and painful your feelings are. It’s never easy to grapple with situations where nice people distance themselves without clear communication.
First, it’s important to remember that not being liked by certain people, even if they seem genuinely nice, doesn’t necessarily reflect your worth or character. High school dynamics can be incredibly complicated, and people can drift apart for various reasons that may have nothing to do with you personally.
It’s great to hear that you’re actively working on yourself and recognizing the areas where you’d like to improve. Personal growth is an ongoing journey, and it’s something that many people go through, especially during the tumultuous high school years. Keep focusing on the qualities you want to develop, and don’t be too hard on yourself if the results don’t come as quickly as you’d like.
As for figuring out what might have gone wrong, consider seeking feedback from trusted friends or a school counselor who might help you gain more insight. Sometimes, it can be valuable to get an outside perspective on your interactions and social behavior.
Lastly, try to focus on the positive relationships you do have. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are, even if they’re not as numerous as you’d like. As you continue to grow and evolve, you’ll likely find new connections that are meaningful and supportive. Remember, it’s not about fitting into every social circle, but finding a few genuine friendships that enrich your life. You are not alone in this, and things can and often do change as you move forward. Hang in there!