What’s the most troubling thing you’ve been taught in school? At my school, it often feels like self-defense is treated more harshly than the act of starting a fight. Depending on the teacher, boys receive support while girls are sometimes made to feel inferior. I’ve learned this through personal experience.
One day, while I was minding my own business, our English teacher, who is also my homeroom teacher, asked us to retrieve a mock paper from our exercise book. My classmate Marcus, who sits behind me, had all the answers. I asked him if I could look at it, but he didn’t respond. So, I glanced over, but my eyesight isn’t the best. I leaned in for a better look, when suddenly he slapped my shoulder hard, causing me pain for a few moments, and shouted, “Give it back NOW!” Why couldn’t he have simply told me not to take it?
In my reaction, I may have overreacted while trying to return it, and the situation escalated into a throw. Everyone in the class, including the teacher, witnessed it. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but some classmates were visibly shocked. The teacher then asked me to talk to her privately, and our conversation went something like this:
Teacher: Why did you do that?
Me: I was just trying to see something from Marcus. He didn’t say I couldn’t take a look, so I did. When he slapped my shoulder and yelled, I reacted.
Teacher: I didn’t see Marcus do that. You must have made that up. Why can’t you control your emotions?
Me: I swear, he did it! You just didn’t see it. I got triggered, so I threw it.
Teacher: That doesn’t justify your actions. You could have hurt someone.
Me: I agree, but Marcus physically hurt me first. Why isn’t he here?
Teacher: I didn’t witness it, that’s why. Plus, it’s not like you were injured—you had enough energy to throw it.
Me: I said I was triggered by Marcus!
Teacher: So what?
(pause)
Teacher: Is that all you have to say?
Me: Um…
Teacher: Meet me after class.
Honestly, I feel like she has a bias toward Marcus. This was just one of many experiences that led me to think, “This is how the world works.” It appears that some teachers hold prejudices against girls—or sometimes boys—for no valid reason.
What are your thoughts on this?
It’s really disheartening to hear about your experience. It seems like you encountered a situation where the teacher didn’t take your perspective seriously, which can definitely feel unfair, especially when you felt provoked. It raises important questions about bias and how teachers handle conflicts in the classroom.
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for some educators to overlook certain behaviors based on long-standing biases, whether they are conscious or not. The inequality in how self-defense and aggression are treated can send the wrong message to students about fairness and accountability.
It’s also concerning that you felt like your emotions were dismissed, as emotional responses are natural, especially in a challenging situation. Instead of addressing why you felt the need to react, it sounds like the focus was only on the outcome of your actions, which isn’t a productive approach to teaching conflict resolution.
It’s important for educational environments to be supportive and fair, allowing every student to feel heard, regardless of gender. Your experience highlights the need for teachers to recognize their biases and strive for a more equitable approach to discipline and conflict resolution. Hopefully, sharing your story can spark discussions about these issues, encouraging improvements in how schools handle such situations in the future. Don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself and others in these contexts, as your voice matters!