Subject: Struggling to Find My Place at 28
Hi everyone,
I started my college journey at just 19, feeling confident because school had never posed much of a challenge before. Teachers often described me as “gifted,” albeit with a tendency to get easily distracted.
Unfortunately, my early twenties took a wrong turn due to personal struggles, including issues related to substance use. The transition from the supportive environment of high school to the challenging realities of university left me feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied. Eventually, I decided to drop out and take a break for about two years.
When I returned to school two years ago, I hit a hard reality: I couldn’t manage everything on my own. I discovered my difficulty with focus, irritability, and procrastination, despite being capable of good grades when I applied myself. After seeking help from a psychologist and multiple psychiatrists, I was diagnosed with ADHD-C. I’m currently on medication, which has been beneficial, and therapy has helped as well.
I’m majoring in economics, a subject I find interesting but one that has contributed to my burnout after spending nearly seven years in education. I still have two subjects left to complete for my degree—X (currently underway) and Y, module 2 (next term). The concept of the sunk cost fallacy is really weighing on my mind at this point.
Subject Y feels incredibly daunting for various reasons I won’t get into. Balancing my mental health challenges is tough enough, and with my parents aging and my lack of personal space despite having a supportive partner, I often feel trapped.
Getting motivated to study is a challenge. I have a final exam on March 12 for a less demanding module and a retake on April 26, but I’m exhausted. I’ve come to realize that my passion lies in helping others, yet I’ve been steered toward career paths focusing on financial gain.
I don’t enjoy macroeconomics; my true interests lie in reading fiction, listening to music, math (even though I struggle with it), movies, and exercising. I’m hesitant to drop out now, feeling like I’m too invested; my only options seem to be to either graduate or risk failing and being dismissed from the university after three attempts.
Apologies if this seems scattered. I’m gradually understanding what adulthood entails. My back aches from all the screen time and late-night study sessions. Achieving hyperfocus isn’t something I can just conjure at will. While I’m grateful for my partner and family’s support, it often feels insufficient to navigate through everything.
P.S. On a positive note, my faculty has granted me an extension of 50% on exam times due to my diagnosis, along with some additional accommodations. I’d like to reach out to my lecturer or the postdoc researcher during office hours, but I don’t want to impose.
Thanks for listening!
Hey there,
First off, I just want to say that it’s really brave of you to share your journey. Returning to college after such significant challenges takes a lot of courage, and it’s clear you’re doing your best to navigate this tough transition. It’s completely normal to feel out of place and overwhelmed, especially with everything on your plate.
It’s great to hear that you’ve sought help and that therapy and medication have been beneficial. Understanding yourself better, especially after a diagnosis like ADHD, can be a powerful tool in managing your studies. Remember that many people struggle with similar feelings of burnout and pressure; you’re definitely not alone in this.
The pressure of finishing your degree can feel insurmountable at times, but it’s important to take it one step at a time. Have you thought about breaking down your study sessions into smaller, manageable chunks? It might help to set specific, short-term goals that can make it feel less overwhelming. Also, don’t hesitate to use the extra time granted by your faculty; it’s there to support you, and seeking guidance during office hours can be really beneficial. Professors usually appreciate when students show initiative about their learning, and you could gain valuable insights or tips on handling the material.
As for your interests, maybe you could find ways to incorporate them into your study routine. For example, some fiction books may relate to economic theories or real-world scenarios. This could make the material more engaging for you.
Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of a support system. Lean on your S.O. and family when you can, and don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, study groups, or campus resources. It’s okay to ask for help, and sometimes just talking about what you’re experiencing can lighten the load a bit.
You’ve clearly shown resilience and a willingness to improve. Trust in yourself and your ability to get through this—step by step. You got this!