Am I being too pushy? Should I just move on?
There’s this guy in one of my classes who I didn’t really notice until about a month ago. It’s kind of blurry how it started, but I think I first noticed him when I returned to class from the bathroom. I tend to scan the room due to my habit of staring, and I saw him looking at me. We ended up locking eyes for about five seconds before I went to my seat. This has happened almost every class since, and I didn’t think much of it until I started having feelings for him (there’s a bit of a silly reason behind that 😭).
As my feelings grew, I began asking people about him and found out that he’s really quiet. I struggle with anxiety, so I was too nervous to approach him. I attempted to talk to him last Friday, but I ended up just sitting next to him instead (he sits in front of my friends, so it didn’t feel odd, as I’ve done it before).
My friends encouraged me to follow him on Instagram and other social media, but he never followed me back, which makes me feel embarrassed and like I misread the situation. It’s clear he’s not reciprocating, but I don’t fully understand what type of person he is or what his actions mean. Maybe he just stares at people like I do?
He often looks around the room, and I catch him glancing in my direction multiple times each class—though who knows whether he’s actually looking at me. I may have jumped to conclusions and assumed he was interested. We seem so different in terms of looks, personality, and interests. I know I should probably just let it go since nothing has actually happened, but every time we make eye contact or accidentally touch feet, those feelings resurface.
Deep down, I suspect I know the answer: I should move on. If he were interested, wouldn’t he have followed me back? My friends suggest he might be shy, and my English teacher mentioned that his phone was taken away, which I thought could explain things. However, I saw him using his phone yesterday, so that theory doesn’t hold up. At this point, I just feel foolish for thinking there was a chance. What should I do next?
It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and it’s completely normal to feel confused and uncertain in situations like this. It’s great that you’re reflecting on your feelings and considering whether your actions might be perceived as harassment. Based on what you’ve shared, it doesn’t seem like you are harassing him; it sounds more like you’re caught up in a mix of admiration and anxiety about how to move forward.
Since you’ve mentioned that he’s quiet and seems to avoid interacting with you directly, it might be a good idea to give him space. It’s possible that he may not feel comfortable or ready to engage, which is nothing personal against you. People have different social comfort levels, and things might not be as clear as they seem.
If you’re still interested in getting to know him better, perhaps consider approaching him casually when the opportunity arises—like in class or during breaks—but without putting too much pressure on either of you. A friendly smile or a simple “hi” might be an easy way to break the ice without making things awkward.
However, if he continues to not engage back or doesn’t reciprocate your interest, it is healthy to recognize that sometimes things don’t work out as we hope. It’s totally okay to let your feelings evolve and find closure, even if it feels tough right now. Surround yourself with supportive friends and focus on things that make you happy and fulfilled outside of this situation. Remember, it’s all part of growing and learning about relationships!