Navigating college and life has been overwhelmingly challenging for me lately. I recently returned to school to pursue a degree in Engineering, or something I truly enjoy, but the stress has been intense.
Thanks to my parents’ military background and my mom’s Native American heritage, I’m fortunate enough to attend college for free—a rare opportunity that I don’t take for granted. I’m currently taking Algebra, English, and Engineering with aspirations of becoming an engineer one day. However, it’s been two years since my last math class, so diving back in has been particularly taxing. I recently scored a disheartening 9 out of 100 on my math exam—a shocking failure I have never experienced before. Even when I struggled in the past, I managed to pass, so this hit me hard.
Life’s complexities have compounded my stress. My mother passed away last November on Veterans Day, which inspired me to pursue a college education, but now I’m juggling a full course load along with numerous personal challenges. I’m working 12-hour shifts 3-4 days a week at Tesla, often picking up overtime to make ends meet. Recently, I had to pay back my roommate after borrowing too much from him, but at least that’s resolved, even if it added to my worries. I’m also managing my mom’s bank affairs, dealing with the VA, and transferring things into my name, like insurance, which was previously under her name.
Adding to my frustration, my apartment management has been a nightmare. They parked a golf cart in front of my garage, forcing me to park elsewhere, which led to my vehicle being towed—despite my repeated attempts to notify them before it happened. I ended up paying $300 to retrieve my car, and that’s just one instance of their poor management, with repairs taking months. My roommate and I have finally decided it’s time to move out, although I’m not thrilled about it. I plan to stay with my uncle and aunt, which might bring some relief.
All these struggles are affecting my performance in college. While I’m managing to keep up with English and Engineering classes, my math situation is deteriorating, and I’m seriously considering taking a break this semester to regroup and start fresh in the summer. There are moments when I can’t focus on anything, and the stress has led to tears and panic. Compounding it all is my family’s history of heart issues, which weighs on my mind as I’ve lost sleep and sometimes even black out briefly during night shifts. My breaks are consumed with either homework or catching up on sleep, but it never feels like enough.
To top it all off, adulting is just plain tough.
It sounds like you’re dealing with an overwhelming amount right now, and it’s completely understandable to feel stressed and frustrated. First, I want to acknowledge how strong you’ve been in the face of so much loss and responsibility. Your mother’s passing is a profound loss, and it’s commendable that you’re pursuing your education in her honor, even while managing so many other tough situations.
Math can be really challenging, especially after a long break, but remember that one exam doesn’t define your abilities or your potential. It’s okay to seek help! Consider reaching out to a tutor, joining a study group, or using online resources. Sometimes a different perspective can make a huge difference in understanding the material.
Also, don’t hesitate to talk to your professors about the challenges you’re facing. They might be able to offer accommodations or support. And if you do decide to take a break this semester, that’s not a failure. It’s a strategic choice to give yourself the time to regroup. Your mental and physical health is so important, and taking care of yourself should be a priority.
Moving in with your uncle and aunt could be a positive change and a good support system, so hopefully that helps ease some of the burdens you’re facing. Remember, it’s okay to lean on others when times get tough, and you don’t have to do this alone. Lastly, give yourself grace; it’s okay not to have everything figured out right now. You’re navigating a lot, and taking it one step at a time is perfectly alright. Be kind to yourself!