How to Make Friends in College, A Guide

A Guide to Making Friends in College

I created this guide in response to the many posts I’ve seen about young people struggling to connect and make friends in our digital age. After seeing a post earlier today from someone who seemed to be having a tough time, I wrote a detailed comment to help him out. Unfortunately, by the time I finished, he had deleted his post. I’m sharing my thoughts here, hoping that others might find them useful based on my own experiences.

During my college years, I went through a period where I didn’t have many friends. Through trial and error, I eventually built a close-knit group of over a dozen friends. Here’s what helped me along the way:

1. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

I know this sounds cliché, but putting yourself in social situations is crucial for developing your social skills. It’s like working out your “social muscles” — the more you practice, the easier it becomes to engage with others. Start small; even things like going to the gym can help you be around people in a low-pressure environment. Gradually move toward more interaction-heavy places, like study sessions with professors, career fairs, or volunteer opportunities.

If you want to rapidly improve your conversational skills, consider taking a part-time job as a cashier at a grocery store. This role compels you to interact with numerous strangers daily. The key is to be intentional about sparking conversations while you’re on the job. It’s easy to be the quiet cashier who only rings things up, but try engaging with customers. A simple opener like, “Hi, how are you? Do you have your loyalty card?” followed by a genuine interest in their day can lead to meaningful exchanges. Remember, let them talk and pick up on things they say to continue the conversation. This not only applies at work but in all social settings.

For example, if a woman comes through your line and shares she’s excited about her son’s upcoming play, respond with questions that show you’re interested:

1. “That’s awesome! How old is your son? Is this his first play?”
2. “What’s the name of the play? I used to love doing theater in high school!”

Listening actively will improve your conversation skills over time, and it’s okay to stumble at first—that’s part of the learning process. Being a cashier offers a low-stakes environment to practice, and bonus—you even get paid for it!

2. Explore Your Interests

Take a moment to reflect on your interests, both academic and personal, and jot them down. Once you have a list, visit your university’s club dashboard to discover organizations that align with what you love. Most colleges have a wide variety of clubs, and no matter how niche your interests may be, you’re likely to find others who share them.

Additionally, people are inherently social and often seek community. This means you have a solid foundation for building friendships as you meet others with similar passions. Attend club meetings and don’t hesitate to introduce yourself. Connect with senior members, especially officers, and ask about upcoming activities or volunteer opportunities—they can help you meet even more people in the club.

3. Be Patient, But Don’t Delay

College is a fantastic time to forge both personal and professional friendships that can enrich your life. However, it’s essential to remember that making friends takes time, and the “real world” can be far more challenging when it comes to socializing.

Don’t rush the process or feel pressured to become fast friends with the first person who shows interest. Be patient and allow connections to develop naturally. Meet multiple people; it’s normal not to vibe with everyone. Keep your expectations realistic; most acquaintances will remain just that, while a few may become closer friends.

As friendships bloom, those friends might introduce you to their circles, further expanding your social network—a great way to meet people who resonate with you.

Finally, be aware that