Feeling Overwhelmed by Others’ Expectations
Hi, I’m a high school senior (15-F) who has been rumored to be the valedictorian of our class.
It all began when I achieved the highest grade among all 10th graders at my school, and suddenly, the talk of me being the valedictorian started circulating. At first, I didn’t take it seriously; I thought it was just a funny rumor. As the second grading period came to a close, my grades improved, but so did everyone else’s. I went from being the top student to holding the 5th highest GPA in the school, with the first four being from different sections. Now that the third quarter has ended, I find myself around the 3rd or 4th highest GPA overall. This hasn’t bothered me since I never truly expected to be valedictorian.
In a recent class assignment, we were asked to reflect on each of our classmates and write them personal letters. I received 41 letters, all filled with kind words—congratulations, expressions of gratitude, and hopes for friendship. Out of those, 35 letters included congratulations, and 27 specifically referred to me as our potential valedictorian.
Reading all these messages has left me feeling overwhelmed, pressured, and stressed.
I’m afraid of disappointing these people.
I’m confused about why I’m sharing this here—perhaps I’m looking for validation, advice, or simply hoping to connect with someone who has faced a similar situation.
It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by the expectations of others, especially when you’re in a position where people are projecting their hopes onto you. Graduating high school can be a stressful time as it is, and when you add the pressure of possibly being named valedictorian, it can feel even heavier.
First, it’s important to remember that your worth is not defined by a title or a grade. You’ve clearly worked hard and excelled academically, but it’s okay to not want that responsibility or the pressure that comes with it. It’s also perfectly normal to feel uncertain about your future and how you fit into it.
Instead of focusing on what others expect, try to shift your mindset to what you want for yourself. Have open conversations with trusted friends, teachers, or family members about how you’re feeling. They may provide perspective and support that can help alleviate some of the pressure you’re feeling.
Also, remember that the people who wrote those letters admire you for who you are, not just for your academic achievements. If you do end up being named valedictorian, try to view it as an opportunity to share a message that resonates with you, rather than a weighty obligation.
Ultimately, it’s your journey, and you have the right to define it on your own terms. Whatever happens, you’ve already made a positive impact on those around you by being yourself, and that’s what truly matters. Take things one step at a time, and prioritize your mental well-being along the way. You’ve got this!