How can I approach my teacher about his rude behavior towards me? I know it’s a bit awkward, but I had to step out of class today because I felt really upset. He called me to the board to solve a problem, and when I struggled to finish, he said something like, “You have all your smart friends around you, so why can’t you do this? Look everyone, we have ‘Miss I need help and I’m stuck’ here, but you never pay attention in class.”
He often makes comments that imply I’m not as capable as my classmates, even though I do better than some of them. It feels like every day he says something hurtful, and I can’t tell if he thinks it’s funny or if he just doesn’t care. Unlike some teachers who tease students in a lighthearted way, he just seems outright rude, and I notice he doesn’t pick on others as much.
I want to bring this up to him, but I’m not sure how to start the conversation.
Also, my friends jokingly suggest that it might be related to the fact that I share the same name as his ex-girlfriend, whom he still talks about, so maybe it triggers something for him.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s completely understandable to feel upset when someone treats you that way, especially a teacher. You deserve to feel respected and valued in your learning environment.
Here’s a possible approach you could take when talking to him:
Choose a good time: Try to speak to him privately, after class or during office hours, so he doesn’t feel defensive in front of the other students.
Use “I” statements: Start with how you feel rather than accusing him. You could say something like, “I want to share something that’s been bothering me. I feel upset when you make comments about my abilities in front of the class.”
Be specific: Give him a specific example, like the incident at the board. You might say, “When you mentioned that I don’t pay attention or compared me to my friends, I felt really embarrassed and hurt.”
Express your willingness to improve: Let him know you genuinely want to do well in the class. You might say, “I really want to succeed in this class and appreciate any feedback you have, but I’d prefer if we could focus on constructive criticism rather than comments that make me feel belittled.”
Ask for support: You could also ask for his support in a more positive way, like, “I would love your help in understanding the material better so I can participate more confidently in class.”
If you find it too daunting to talk to him directly or if his behavior doesn’t change, consider speaking with a counselor or another trusted teacher. They can help you navigate the situation and ensure that you feel safe and supported in class. Remember, you have the right to speak up against disrespectful behavior!