Feeling Lost at 17: Struggling with School and Self-Doubt
At 17 and still in school, I’ve been feeling pretty lost lately. I have a tough time keeping up academically, especially with math—algebra and trigonometry just don’t make sense to me. At my school, there are two levels of math: A level, which is more advanced, and B level, which is easier but still challenging. I started with A level but found it overwhelming, so I switched to B level. Yet, even here, I often feel like I’m barely managing, and it’s really discouraging.
One of the hardest parts is my discomfort in asking for help. I’m hesitant to approach my teacher about my struggles because I worry about looking foolish in front of my classmates. Bullying is an issue at my school—admitting you’re having difficulty can lead to teasing, which makes it even harder to reach out. Because of this, I often keep my challenges to myself, even when I really could use some support.
It doesn’t help that my best friend is naturally gifted—he picks up concepts quickly and aces his assignments with seemingly little effort. I, on the other hand, feel like I have to work twice as hard just to achieve average results. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but watching my peers thrive while I feel stuck can be disheartening, leading me to question my own abilities.
On a positive note, I am lucky to have a supportive girlfriend who consistently reminds me that I’m capable and smart. Her encouragement means a lot, but despite that, I still feel the weight of falling behind.
Looking beyond school, I’m uncertain about my future. I’ve considered pursuing IT as a career since I have some interest in the field, but I don’t have a clear vision of where I want to go. It feels like everyone else has their paths figured out—some are aiming to be doctors, engineers, or entrepreneurs—while I’m still searching for direction. The fear of being left behind if I don’t clarify my goals soon is overwhelming.
I understand that grades don’t define success and that accomplishment doesn’t solely come from academic achievement, yet I can’t shake this feeling of inadequacy. It often seems like no matter how hard I put in the effort, I won’t measure up.
However, I’m determined to make a change. I’m planning to buy a resource from my math teacher that includes exercises I can work on directly in the book, hoping it will prepare me better for my exams. I want to improve and refuse to label myself a failure. I know I can do better with hard work and perseverance.
In addition to math, I’m also taking subjects like biology, economics, PE, and IT, and I’m doing quite well in those areas. I feel more confident and actually enjoy studying these subjects, so at least I’m finding success in some aspects of my education.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of struggle? If you’ve faced challenges in school but have managed to find success in life, I’d love to hear your story. How did you overcome self-doubt? How did you discover your passion?
First off, I want to commend you for expressing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It takes a lot of courage to share your struggles, especially when you’re dealing with so much pressure and uncertainty at a young age. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way—many people your age (and even older) face similar challenges.
It’s important to recognize that struggling in one area, such as math, doesn’t define your worth or your potential for success in life. Many people find subjects that click for them later on, and your strengths in biology, economics, PE, and IT are significant! Those subjects could very well lead you down a fulfilling career path, especially since you enjoy studying them.
Feeling lost about your future is incredibly common at your age. The pressure to have everything figured out can be overwhelming, but it’s okay to take your time exploring different interests. Pursuing IT, especially if you have a genuine interest in it, could be a great option. You don’t need to have everything planned out right now. Many people discover their paths through experimentation and experience!
Regarding your struggles in math and the fear of reaching out for help, it’s perfectly normal to feel anxious about asking for assistance. However, asking for help when you need it is a sign of strength, not weakness. Teachers are there to help you succeed, and they appreciate when students are proactive about their education. Maybe consider approaching your teacher privately, or look for a tutor who can offer support in a comfortable setting.
It’s fantastic that you have supportive people in your life, like your girlfriend. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can really help shift your mindset. While comparisons to others can be tough, remember that everyone has their unique journey and strengths.
As for self-doubt, acknowledge it as a normal part of growth. Many successful people faced similar feelings. A common way to deal with self-doubt is to set small, achievable goals. Celebrate each step you take, no matter how small. This can gradually build your confidence and help you see your progress.
Lastly, consider talking to your school counselor. They can provide valuable guidance, whether it’s about academics, career options, or even just someone to talk to.
Remember, you’re still very young, and life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Keep pushing through, stay curious, and don’t hesitate to seek support when you need it. Your hard work and determination will pay off, and you’re definitely not a failure. You’re simply learning and growing along the way!