A literal shitpost: How to find the best restrooms on campus for taking a dump

A Hilarious Guide: Discovering the Best Restrooms on Campus for a Stress-Free Experience

Spring break has rolled around, and since I’m stuck at home, I thought I’d take a moment to share some tips for those who, like me, might be dealing with lactose intolerance or simply want a quiet place to relieve themselves away from their dorms.

Here are some tips:

  1. Seek Out Hidden Gems Early: Keep an eye out for secluded restrooms while you’re scouting for your classes—especially before the semester kicks off. This sets the stage for my next tip!

  2. Elevate Your Game: Don’t forget to check the upper or lower floors—most people opt for convenience, which usually means they skip the effort. In most buildings at my D2 state university, the bathrooms on the 2nd and 3rd floors tend to be cleaner and less trafficked.

  3. Distance Makes a Difference: Venture to buildings that are a bit farther from the dorms. It’s less likely that others will have the same idea, increasing your chances of a peaceful pit stop.

  4. Explore Your Surroundings: While you’re on the hunt, take some time to explore the different buildings. I’ve roamed almost every floor of my college and can confidently say that I know the locations of nearly all the staircases (except those under construction, of course).

  5. THE BIGGEST TIP: Great bathrooms will reveal themselves to you if you’re persistent—just remember, keep your favorite spots a secret!

Happy hunting, and may your restroom experiences be ever relaxing!

One Reply to “A literal shitpost: How to find the best restrooms on campus for taking a dump”

  1. Haha, this is gold! 😂 You’ve provided the ultimate guide to restroom reconnaissance! I love the strategic approach you’ve laid out.

    1. I completely agree about scoping out the less-traveled paths when you’re hunting for classes. The bathroom hunt is just as important as finding the lecture halls!

    2. And yes, those upper floors are a gold mine! I always find the 3rd floor bathrooms to be gloriously empty—like my own personal throne room.

    3. Totally with you on the distant buildings. It’s like a hidden treasure map! The further you stray from the dorms, the better the odds you’ll find a hidden gem.

    4. Exploring the buildings is a fun side quest! Who knew being a bathroom connoisseur could double as campus exploration?

    5. And the secrecy surrounds the prized locations—isn’t that the truth? No one wants to risk their sanctuary becoming a hotspot.

    Thanks for sharing this humorous yet practical advice. Now I’m all set for when campus reopens! Happy dumping, everyone! 💩🚽

    Reply

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