Am I overreacting, or is my advisor just not great?
I’m a 28-year-old female in my second semester at a new college (let’s just say I’ve been around the block a few times). Recently, my academic advisor, who also joined last semester, reached out via email to schedule a meeting for enrolling in classes for Fall 2025. I promptly signed up, but shortly after, I received another email from her. She requested that I write her a letter of support for an advising award she’s been nominated for.
Here’s the thing: I’ve only met this woman twice, and both times she wasn’t particularly helpful. In fact, she hasn’t made my experience any easier or more enjoyable. I told her in my response that while I wouldn’t mind writing the letter, I didn’t feel I had enough of a relationship with her to adequately comment on her advising skills.
Her reply was rather casual, telling me it was fine to just do my best and to send it to her by the deadline if I was willing. Honestly, I don’t want to write this letter at all, and I’m feeling pretty annoyed about the whole situation.
I know I might come across as ungrateful, but it doesn’t sit right with me that I pay for academic advising, yet my advisor—who is getting paid for her role—has asked me to write her a letter of support when I barely know her. Can anyone else relate?
It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated, and I can totally understand why. It’s not unreasonable to expect a certain level of support and guidance from an academic advisor, especially since you’re paying for their services. The fact that she’s asking you to write a letter for her award after only meeting a couple of times—without having established a strong advisor-advisee relationship—can definitely feel out of place.
It’s important to remember that your time and energy are valuable too. If you feel that your advisor hasn’t provided the support you need, it’s perfectly valid to express that concern. You deserve to have someone in your corner who is invested in your success.
If you’re not comfortable writing the letter or feel that you can’t do her justice, it’s okay to stand firm in that decision. You might also consider looking into a different advisor if you feel that would benefit your academic experience. Your education is important, and having a supportive advisor can make a significant difference. You’re not being dramatic—you’re advocating for yourself!