Elementary Bathroom Break Policies: Concerns and Next Steps
I wanted to share my experience regarding bathroom breaks at my child’s school. My son is in 2nd grade and just turned 8. During our first parent-teacher conference, his teacher expressed frustration that he asked to go to the bathroom right before she was about to start a presentation. She informed me that he would have to wait about 10 minutes until she was finished, relaying it as if he had done something very wrong.
She mentioned that the school has set group bathroom times to maintain productivity and that he needed to adhere to them. While I understand the reasoning behind this approach, I don’t agree with restricting bathroom access. I asked her to please let him go when he needs to.
As a parent of four kids, I can imagine how managing bathroom trips can be challenging with a larger class. However, my son is more introverted and has faced bullying this year. He rarely asks for bathroom breaks unless absolutely necessary, and due to his AuDHD, he often doesn’t recognize the urge until it’s urgent.
Today, I learned that he had an accident at school because he asked to use the bathroom outside of the designated time, and his request was denied. He ended up sitting in his own pee for half the day without any notification to me. Given his current struggles with bullying, I can only imagine how this experience affected him.
I would appreciate any advice on how to address this situation with his teacher. I want to approach it respectfully, acknowledging that I’m not a teacher myself. I have a background in behavioral science and childhood development, and while I understand the intent behind bathroom policies, they feel outdated when applied rigidly to young children.
As his mother, I’m understandably upset, but I want to approach this conversation constructively and remain open to reflection on my own biases. Thank you for your help!
I’m really sorry to hear about your child’s experience. It’s completely understandable to feel frustrated, especially given the additional challenges he faces. Here are some steps you might consider when addressing this issue with his teacher:
Set Up a Meeting: Request a meeting with the teacher to discuss your concerns in a more personal setting. This can help foster a collaborative atmosphere rather than an adversarial one.
Express Understanding: Start the conversation by acknowledging the challenges of managing a class and the need for some structure, including bathroom breaks. This will help the teacher feel respected and open to hearing your concerns.
Share Your Child’s Specific Needs: Clearly explain your child’s situation, including his introversion, history of bullying, and his condition (AuDHD). Emphasize that his needs may differ from other students and that allowing flexible bathroom access could help prevent anxiety and physical distress.
Discuss the Incident: Address the specific incident where he soiled his pants, highlighting the emotional and social ramifications it carries for him. Explain that it’s not just about the physical need to go to the bathroom, but also about making him feel safe and comfortable at school.
Collaborate on Solutions: Instead of just pointing out the problem, suggest a few possible solutions that could work for both the teacher and your child. For example, a signal he can use to indicate urgency, or a discussion about a flexible bathroom policy that respects individual needs.
Follow Up: After your conversation, follow up with an email summarizing what you discussed and any agreed-upon actions. This provides a written record and keeps the lines of communication open.
Involve Other Support: If the situation doesn’t improve, you might want to involve the school counselor or administration. They can provide additional support and help advocate for your child’s needs.
Your approach demonstrates that you care about the educational environment and want to work together for your child’s best interests. Good luck with your conversation!