Feeling like I’m not making the most of my college experience
I’m a 21-year-old junior, and as much as I love college, I find myself dreading the day I have to leave. I know I’m involved in quite a bit—living with three of my closest friends in an apartment I adore, volunteering every weekend with special needs kids and the elderly through a couple of service organizations, participating in a weekly religious small group, and serving as a tour guide for the college. I have solid friendships, see my friends regularly, and I’m excited about studying abroad this summer. Plus, my boyfriend and one of my best friends will be back from studying abroad next year, which will make my senior year even more enjoyable.
Despite all this, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not doing enough with my time left. I constantly think about how I’m not involved in enough student organizations or taking enough classes I love. I question whether I’ve gone to enough parties, made enough connections with professors, spent enough time with friends, or made enough romantic progress. I’m a late bloomer, and my current relationship is my first, but we only dated for about five weeks before he went abroad, so it doesn’t feel like there’s a strong foundation—and I worry it’s fading away, which is tough.
I find it hard to be present and often compare myself to others who seem to be having a better college experience. I’m at a loss for what more I could do or even fit into my schedule. I often miss being a freshman when everything felt new, and I was constantly surrounded by people. I struggled with depression during my sophomore year and mentally skipped a lot of it, which makes me feel like I missed out on so many experiences. While my freshman and junior years have been great, now as a rising senior, I feel like time is slipping away. I’m already mourning the end of my college days and find it difficult to enjoy the present. Even if I wanted to join more activities, it feels too late in the game.
Is anyone else feeling this way? I would really appreciate any advice, as I worry I’m ruining my remaining time by fixating on what’s ahead. I tend to be sentimental and nostalgic, and the thought of graduating in 15 months without having done more feels overwhelming. I’m truly not ready to grow up, leave my friends, or step out of the college bubble. The prospect of adulting feels daunting, and it scares me.
Firstly, I want to acknowledge that it’s completely normal to feel this way, especially as you approach a major transition like graduation. College is such a unique and formative time, and it’s understandable to fear losing that sense of community and excitement.
It sounds like you’re already doing a lot—between volunteering, studying abroad, and being involved in social groups. While it’s easy to get caught up in comparing your experience to others, try to remind yourself that everyone’s journey is different. You’ve created meaningful connections and memories, and it’s important to appreciate what you have done rather than focusing on what you think you haven’t.
Here are a few suggestions that might help you find more peace in the moment and make the most of your time left in college:
Focus on Quality Over Quantity: Instead of trying to join more organizations or have more experiences, consider deepening the ones you’re already involved in. Engage more fully in your volunteer work or build stronger relationships with your current friends. Sometimes, quality interactions can be more fulfilling than a packed schedule.
Practice Gratitude: Take time each week to reflect on what you love about your college experience. Journaling can be a great way to do this. This practice can shift your focus from what you feel is lacking to all the wonderful moments you’ve had.
Set Small Goals: Consider creating a list of things you still want to experience, but keep it realistic. Focus on smaller, achievable goals that would add to your enjoyment without overwhelming you. This could be attending a specific event, trying a new food place, or spending more time with a specific friend.
Talk About It: Don’t hesitate to share how you’re feeling with friends. You may find that others are experiencing similar sentiments. Having open conversations can provide comfort and perspective.
Stay Present: Engage in mindfulness practices, like meditation or deep-breathing exercises, to help you stay grounded in the present. This can be really helpful in combatting feelings of anxiety about the future.
Embrace the Change: Instead of fearing adulthood, try to reframe it as an opportunity. It’s natural to feel apprehensive, but your college experiences and connections will continue to shape you. Embrace the idea that you’re moving into a new and exciting phase of life.
Remember, it’s okay to feel nostalgic and sad about change. But it’s also crucial to cherish and make the most of the present. You’re not ruining your time—you’re navigating a challenging emotional landscape that many others have experienced. Be gentle with yourself, and know that it’s perfectly okay to feel both excited and apprehensive about what lies ahead.