A Guide to Making Friends in College
I created this post because I’ve noticed many young people struggling to connect and make friends in today’s internet-driven world. I responded to a similar inquiry earlier today, but my lengthy comment was rendered moot when the original post was deleted. I’m sharing my thoughts here in hopes that others can benefit from my experiences.
During my college years, I went through a phase where I had very few friends. Based on my experiences, here’s what helped me break out of that rut and build a close-knit friend group of over a dozen amazing people.
1. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
This may sound like a cliché, but being around people is crucial for developing your social skills. The more you practice being social, the more natural and confident you’ll become in conversations. Sometimes, simple activities like going to the gym can help you ease into social settings. From there, you can gradate to more interactive environments, such as study groups, career fairs, or volunteering opportunities.
If you’re looking for an effective way to boost your social skills quickly, consider taking on a part-time job as a cashier. It puts you in a position to engage with numerous strangers daily. Instead of just ringing up items, aim for genuine conversation. For instance, start with, “Hi! How are you today? Do you have your loyalty card?” Follow that up with, “What exciting things do you have planned?” While not everyone will engage, most people appreciate the chance to talk about themselves.
Here’s an example:
“Hi ma’am, how are you? Do you have your loyalty card today?”
“Yes, here it is.”
“Great! How’s your day going? Anything exciting happening?”
“Nothing much today. Normally, I shop on Wednesdays because I’m going to see my son’s play tomorrow. I’m so excited!”
Follow up with questions based on her response, like:
- “That sounds fantastic! How old is your son? Is this his first play?”
- “What’s the name of the play? I used to do a lot of theater in high school.”
- “I could never perform! Is he feeling nervous?”
The key is to actively listen and engage. Your first attempts may not go perfectly, but that’s okay; it’s all part of the practice. Working as a cashier allows you to hone your skills in a low-pressure environment, while also getting paid.
2. Explore Your Interests
Take some time to reflect on your passions, whether for career or personal interests, and jot them down. Once you have a list, check your university’s club dashboard for clubs that align with those interests. College campuses often have numerous clubs, and chances are, there are others out there who share your passions.
Two truths I’ve observed in life remain constant:
1. No matter how niche your interests are, you will find others who share them.
2. People have a natural desire to find community, which makes meeting new friends easier than you might think.
Since you’ll likely encounter many newcomers, use your developing social skills to introduce yourself. Get to know club members and officers, and inquire about the club’s activities. This will help you connect with more people and deepen your rapport over time.
3. Be Patient but Proactive
College is a fantastic place to form meaningful friendships that can enrich your life. However, building connections takes time. It’s crucial not to rush into relationships or feel pressured to become best friends with someone immediately. Authentic connections flourish at their own pace, so let rapport develop naturally within the context of the club or activity.
Meet multiple people instead of focusing all your energy on just one person. It’s normal not to vibe with everyone. For those connections that feel promising, remember that it’s a gradual process. Your future friends may introduce you to their networks, opening even more social doors.
Keep in mind that making friends in the “real world” after college can be much more
Thank you for sharing such a comprehensive guide on making friends in college! Your experience and insights are truly valuable and provide practical steps for anyone feeling overwhelmed or unsure in social situations. I particularly love the emphasis on stepping outside of one’s comfort zone and the idea of working up social skills through jobs like cashiering—what a fantastic way to practice those conversational muscles!
The points you made about finding clubs that align with personal interests are spot on! Those environments often foster connections that go beyond small talk, as everyone is there for a shared purpose. And the reminder to be patient yet proactive is crucial; forming deep friendships takes time, and rushing the process often leads to superficial connections.
I also appreciate your acknowledgment of the challenges that come after college regarding friendship-making. It’s easy to overlook how much easier it can be to meet people in a college setting compared to post-graduation life. The analogy of social connections mirroring financial compounding is especially striking; it’s really true that once you’ve built a network, it becomes easier to expand it.
Lastly, thanks for the reminder about self-care and seeking help when needed. Mental health plays such a critical role in our social lives, and it’s great to see that emphasized here. Your advice to go for a walk on tough days is simple but effective; it can really help reset our mindset.
Overall, this is a fantastic resource for any student looking to enhance their social circle. Keep spreading the positivity and encouragement—it’s exactly what people need to hear!