Struggling with Classmates in My Cooking Program
I want to share my experience in a cooking program I’ve been doing since September, and I’m currently halfway through. I’m finding it quite challenging to get along with my classmates, especially one in particular, whom I’ll call P.
From the very beginning, P has made snide comments about my cooking, often masking them as jokes. Recently, after I received a well-deserved grade for a dish I worked really hard on, P made a remark to a friend, suggesting that my dish was subpar and that I only received a good grade because of pity. P was standing right behind me, and there’s no doubt he knew I heard him. This type of behavior seems to happen every class, and it’s been really frustrating.
Beyond P, I find some of my classmates exhibit some really annoying habits. For instance, I’ve seen several people vaping in the restrooms, with a few even crowding into stalls. Others have taken to throwing things around, like water bottles, in the changing room, which feels disrespectful and immature. Some classmates seem to constantly argue with our teacher, which is just draining.
Then there’s R, who can’t go a day without bragging about his family’s wealth while invading my space. I’ve asked him to stop, but my partner is too timid to speak up, which forces me to deal with it. I’m really tired of being treated like a doormat, with my feelings and space constantly overlooked.
There have also been some more serious incidents, like when someone called me a racial slur and accused me of sabotaging his work. The accusation was ridiculous, especially since I wasn’t even involved in his preparations and had left the area for a break.
I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to improve this situation or if I should just tough it out until the end of the course. I’m hoping that if I move to a higher level, I’ll be placed in a different group. I should mention that I’m not very socially outgoing and usually try to avoid conflict, which makes all of this even more challenging. Any advice would be appreciated!
It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and I’m sorry to hear about your experiences with your classmates. It’s difficult when you feel disrespected and bullied, especially in a setting where you’re supposed to be learning and enjoying yourself. Here are a few suggestions that might help:
Talk to a Teacher or Mentor: If you haven’t already, consider discussing your experiences with a teacher or mentor in the program. They may not be aware of what’s happening and can intervene to help create a more positive environment. This can also provide you with support and guidance on how to handle the situation.
Keep a Record: Document the incidents, including who was involved, what happened, and when. Having a clear account of events can be useful if you need to present your case to a teacher or authority figure.
Focus on Your Work: Keep focusing on your cooking and your goals in the program. Try not to let P or the others distract you from your achievements. It sounds like you’re talented and hardworking, so continue to put your energy into your cooking.
Find Supportive Classmates: Try to connect with classmates who share your values and interests. Even if it’s just one or two people, having allies can make your experience better and provide you with someone to lean on.
Set Boundaries: If P or others make comments that bother you, you might consider addressing it directly but calmly. You could say something like, “I’d appreciate it if you could stop making comments about my work.” It’s not easy, especially if confrontation isn’t your style, but it might help assert your boundaries.
Focus on Positive Change: If you do choose to hold out until the end of the course, try to maintain a positive outlook. It can be tough when you’re dealing with negativity, but focusing on your growth and what you want to achieve might help you cope.
Consider Your Options: If the situation becomes unbearable, you might want to examine whether it’s possible to transfer to another group or program. Your well-being is important, and sometimes a change of environment can make a big difference.
Remember, it’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional health in this situation. Surround yourself with positivity wherever you can, and don’t hesitate to seek support from trusted adults or friends. Good luck!