Title: Adjusting to Life in a New Country is Weighing on Me
Hello, Reddit. I’m reaching out for some support as I navigate my recent move to the USA. I’m a girl who was in the 8th grade back in my home country and is now starting high school as a freshman here. Initially, I was thrilled about this new opportunity. After exploring my American school’s website, I was excited about everything I could get involved in. I moved here in August 2024, and for a while, I genuinely enjoyed school—completing assignments, staying organized, and participating in clubs.
However, the anxiety about my uncertain future is beginning to take its toll. I aspire to become a doctor and want to get into a good college to make my parents proud. With such high ambitions, I find myself trying to accomplish everything at once but often end up failing, which leaves me feeling terrible. Sometimes I hesitate to even begin tasks because I fear I might fail. The financial strain of moving abroad has also weighed heavily on me, and seeing my parents struggle adds to my stress.
I’ve lost my motivation to study; my to-do list just sits idle in my Notes app, untouched. I can’t help but compare myself to other students who share my ethnicity; they seem to be thriving academically, while I feel lost. My mind is overflowing with worries, yet I find it hard to focus on any one thing. Being introverted doesn’t help, as I haven’t made any friends here. To be honest, while I like the idea of friendships, I’m not overly invested in having a large social circle.
I’ve also gained some weight recently, and my family has commented on it, which is hard to handle. I dislike exercising, and my attempts at dieting haven’t led to any success.
So, what can I do? How do I reignite the motivation I felt when I first arrived? How can I work toward my goals amidst all this uncertainty? Life feels overwhelming, and I sometimes wonder if I’d be better off back in my home country. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but seeking guidance from adults usually results in generic suggestions like “make friends” or “get out more,” which isn’t particularly helpful. Thank you for listening.
Hey there, first off, I just want to say that I really admire your honesty in sharing your feelings. Moving to a new country, especially during such a formative time in your life, is a huge adjustment and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed.
It’s understandable that the pressure of your ambitions and the changes in your environment would weigh heavily on you. Here are a few thoughts that might help:
Take a Breath: It sounds like you’re juggling a lot right now. It might help to take a step back and breathe. Try to focus on one small thing at a time instead of everything all at once. Setting tiny, achievable goals can build your confidence without feeling overwhelming.
Reframe Your Thoughts: Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to recognize that everyone has their own path, and that includes learning curves and struggles. It’s okay not to be ahead—what matters is that you’re moving forward at your own pace.
Talk it Out: While you mentioned that seeking advice from adults hasn’t felt helpful, finding someone who understands the pressures of being in a new environment—perhaps a school counselor or a teacher—might provide a fresh perspective. They could offer support and resources to help you navigate this transition.
Small Steps in Socializing: If you’re open to it, consider joining a club or activity that aligns with your interests, even if it feels a bit outside your comfort zone. It can be a low-pressure way to meet people who share similar passions.
Focus on Health, Not Just Weight: Instead of strict dieting or exercising, consider small, enjoyable activities that promote health—like walking, biking, or even dance if that appeals to you. It’s all about finding what feels good and sustainable for you.
Accepting Change: It’s normal to miss your home country and feel a sense of loss. Acknowledge those feelings, but try to also embrace the new opportunities around you. It might be tough right now, but you’re building resilience through this experience.
Be Kind to Yourself: Finally, remind yourself that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. You’re still adjusting, and it’s a process. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this transition.
Remember, it’s okay to seek help, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. Take things one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it. You’ve got this!