I’m looking for some advice on a situation I’m facing. Ever since I started secondary school in Year 7, I’ve been dealing with bullying. I might be transferring to a new school in September, but that’s beside the point.
Just to give some background: my parents smoke, but they always do it outside to keep it away from me and my older sibling. The problem is that the smoke gets on their clothes, and we can’t afford for them to change every time they have a cigarette. This has become a concern because my sibling and I love to hug our parents.
Unfortunately, there are three boys at school who keep calling me names like “fag” (referring to cigarettes) and “cigarette.” They act out by holding their noses and coughing dramatically around me. The truth is, I don’t smell like smoke. If I did, my grandmother would have mentioned it to my parents, and she hasn’t said a thing. I feel like these boys are just picking on me for no reason, and while it’s making me feel insecure, I really need some guidance on how to handle this.
I’ve tried reporting it, but my school doesn’t seem to take action when things are reported. If anyone has any advice or tips on how to deal with this, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s tough to be picked on, especially when it feels so unfair and unrelated to who you really are. Here are a few steps you might consider:
Talk to Someone: It might be helpful to talk to a trusted adult, whether that’s a teacher, a school counselor, or a family member. Even if your school hasn’t responded well in the past, having someone listen to you can help relieve some of the stress.
Consider Ignoring Them: Sometimes, bullies thrive on the reaction they get. If you can manage it, try to ignore their comments. It might take some practice, but showing that their words don’t affect you can sometimes reduce their motivation to keep bullying.
Find Supportive Friends: Surround yourself with friends or classmates who are kind and supportive. Having a solid support system can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself and help you deal with bullies more effectively.
Document the Bullying: Even if the school doesn’t take action immediately, keep a record of when and how the bullying happens, including dates and specific comments. If it escalates or if you decide to report it again, having documentation can help.
Focus on the New School: Since you mentioned the possibility of moving to a new school, try to focus on that! It could be a fresh start where you can meet new people and leave the bullying behind.
Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that you’re worth much more than their hurtful words. Try to engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself—hobbies, sports, or anything you’re passionate about.
Ultimately, remember that what they say doesn’t define you. You deserve to feel safe and accepted just as you are. If things feel overwhelming, please don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. You’re not alone in this, and better days are ahead.