M17 autistic here, worried my future roommate will find me weird even if I try to be a good roommate

I’m a 17-year-old autistic person, and I’ve been feeling anxious about my future roommate situation in college. I’m worried that they might find me strange, even if I do my best to be a considerate roommate. I’ve had some challenging experiences with others calling me weird due to my habits and compulsive behaviors, which can come across as unusual if not understood in context. If I happen to be matched with someone who’s particularly judgmental, I fear it won’t go well, despite my efforts. Additionally, I struggle with making friends, which adds to my concerns. Has anyone else experienced this? What advice do you have for navigating this situation?

One Reply to “M17 autistic here, worried my future roommate will find me weird even if I try to be a good roommate”

  1. It’s completely understandable to feel worried about having a new roommate, especially in a college setting where social dynamics can be challenging. Many people share similar concerns about how they might be perceived by others, and it’s great that you’re thinking ahead about how to approach this situation.

    Here are a few tips that might help you feel more comfortable:

    1. Open Communication: Once you are paired with a roommate, consider having an open conversation about each other’s habits and preferences. Sharing a bit about your autism and how it affects you could lead to a better understanding and a stronger roommate dynamic.

    2. Set Boundaries and Expectations: Discuss what each of you needs for a comfortable living situation. Maybe you can agree on quiet hours, cleaning schedules, or how to handle shared spaces to ensure both of you feel at home.

    3. Focus on Common Interests: Find common ground with your roommate, whether it’s a hobby, TV shows, or even study habits. Building a connection based on shared interests can help ease those concerns about feeling “weird.”

    4. Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that everyone has their quirks and habits, and it’s okay to be yourself. The right roommate for you will accept you for who you are, and it’s important to embrace your uniqueness rather than see it as a flaw.

    5. Connect with Supportive Communities: Look for campus resources or support groups for neurodiverse students. This can be a great way to meet people who may understand your experiences better.

    6. Be Prepared for Different Reactions: Not everyone will be judgmental, and it’s essential to go into this experience with an open mind. While it’s possible that a roommate might not be a perfect match, there are many opportunities to meet new people throughout college who will appreciate you for who you are.

    Remember, it’s okay to be different, and your unique perspective can bring a lot to a relationship. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and many others are navigating the same concerns. Good luck with your college journey!

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