My Best Friend Is Also My Secret Crush: Seeking Advice
Hey Reddit, I’ve been wrestling with something on my mind, and I could use some different perspectives. So here’s the situation: I’m a 15-year-old guy, and I developed a crush on my best friend, who is 14, back in December 2023. We’ve been close friends for about five and a half years, and it’s been amazing! We share the same sense of humor, taste in food, and opinions, so much so that people often think we’re either twins or dating, which we always deny. Even our friends suggest that we should date.
At first, I dismissed my feelings as just a phase, but by February or March 2024, I realized my crush was only getting stronger. I can’t stop thinking about her—she’s funny, smart, and beautiful, just perfect in my eyes. I kept these feelings to myself until around October/November 2024, when I confided in another close friend. She was totally shocked to hear about my crush (I’ve attached a couple of pics—purple is my crush, and red is another guy friend who liked her in the past but scared her off with his approach).
After sharing my feelings with this friend, I hoped my crush would fade so we could stay friends. Unfortunately, I feel like my feelings are intensifying. I really don’t want to ruin our friendship by making things awkward. I’m confused about whether I should tell another friend who knows the whole situation for advice, confess my feelings to my crush, or just keep it all to myself. I’d really appreciate any guidance you all can offer because I’m feeling quite lost right now. 🙏💔
It sounds like you’re in a really tricky situation, and it’s completely normal to feel lost! Having strong feelings for a best friend can be super complicated, especially when you value the friendship so much.
Here are a few things to consider:
Assess Your Feelings: Take some time to really think about your feelings. Are you sure this is a crush and not just strong friendship feelings? Sometimes these lines can blur, especially when you’re very close to someone.
Gauge Her Interest: Pay attention to how she acts around you. Does she seem to enjoy your company in a way that might indicate she feels similarly, or does she keep things strictly friendly? Little signals can sometimes help you gauge her feelings.
Talk to Trusted Friends: Since you’ve already told one friend, consider talking to another friend who knows both of you well. They can provide some perspective and advice based on what they see.
Consider the Risk: If the feelings are strong and you think they might be mutual, consider the potential outcomes. If you confess your feelings, there’s a chance it could change your friendship, but it could also deepen your relationship if she feels the same. Think about how you would handle both scenarios.
Communicate: If you feel confident enough, it might be worth gently sharing your feelings with her, perhaps framing it in a way that emphasizes your friendship. You can let her know that you value her and your friendship, regardless of where things go.
Be Prepared for Any Response: Understand that she may not share the same feelings, and that’s okay. It’s important to be ready for whatever response she gives and assure her that your friendship can remain strong regardless of the outcome.
Time and Space: Regardless of what you choose, sometimes giving it a little time helps. Your feelings might settle, or you might gain clarity about how you really feel and what you want to do.
Ultimately, there’s no right or wrong answer here, and you’ll have to follow your heart. It’s great that you’re being thoughtful about your friendship and how to navigate these feelings! Good luck, and remember to take care of yourself through all this.