Feeling Treated Differently by My Teacher?
I’m a 16-year-old girl, and I’ve been experiencing some puzzling behavior from my History teacher. She’s usually bubbly, expressive, and engages well with the other students, but I can’t help but notice she interacts with me quite differently. While she’s not rude, there’s a clear difference in her demeanor around me compared to how she treats others.
Here are some observations I’ve made:
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She never gives me compliments, even though she frequently praises my classmates for small things like their outfits or hairstyles. It feels like I’ve been overlooked entirely.
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Although she sometimes seems to ignore me, I often catch her glancing my way when she thinks I’m not looking.
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She engages much more with students who have friends in class, which I don’t, since I’m here solo.
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Her energy shifts depending on the gender; she’s lively with the girls and chatty with the boys, but remains careful and stiff when it comes to me.
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Occasionally, she’ll check in and ask if I’m okay, but those moments are always brief.
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Whenever I start conversations, I find myself doing most of the talking, even though I’m not typically very chatty.
Interestingly, people have mentioned that we resemble each other, from our facial features to our hair and mannerisms. My friend suggested that I might make her feel uneasy because of this resemblance, but that’s not something I can change. I can see the similarity, but I don’t understand why a teacher would treat a student differently based on that.
To clarify, I’m not a troublemaker; I complete my assignments quickly and usually don’t take up much space in the classroom. I expected her to treat me like everyone else, but it often feels like she’s trying to keep her distance. Whenever I make an effort to engage, she seems cold, while her interactions with other students are enthusiastic and lively.
I’m curious about what might be causing her to act this way. I’m not looking for validation; I just want to understand. I’ve never felt this invisible in a classroom before, yet somehow I feel watched by her.
Edit: Just to add, I’m one of the top students in her class, but she doesn’t acknowledge my efforts. There’s another bright girl in class, and when she does well, my teacher often points it out, even if the achievements are minimal.
(Cross-posting since my previous post didn’t yield much insight.)
It sounds like you’re navigating a really confusing situation with your teacher, and it’s understandable to feel frustrated about how you’re being treated differently. Here are a few possibilities to consider regarding her behavior:
Personal Bias or Unconscious Preference: Sometimes teachers might have unconscious biases based on personal experiences or feelings, which can affect their interactions. If she sees a resemblance between you two, it could evoke a complex reaction in her. It’s possible that she’s projecting something onto you – either positive or negative – causing her to be more reserved.
Perceived Pressure: Since you’re a top student, she might hold you to a higher standard or feel pressure to maintain a certain level of professionalism around you. This could explain her stiffness or hesitance, as she may fear that being too informal or familiar would be inappropriate.
Social Dynamics: You mentioned that she interacts more with students who have friends in class. Teachers often engage more with students who are part of social groups, which means your lack of connections in the class could be affecting her willingness to engage. She might simply be unaware of how her actions are impacting you.
Personal Challenges: It’s also important to remember that teachers are human too and can have their own struggles. Her behavior may have nothing to do with you personally but rather with her own circumstances or feelings on a given day.
Communication Styles: Everyone has different ways of relating to others. Some people are just naturally more expressive with those they feel comfortable with, which might not include you for reasons that aren’t personal.
What you can do:
Reach Out: If you feel comfortable, consider having a candid conversation with her. You could mention how much you value her feedback and ask if there’s a reason for the difference in her interactions with you. Framing it positively may encourage her to open up.
Engage with the Class: Try to initiate more conversations with peers or participate in group activities. This might help change the dynamics in the classroom and make you feel less isolated.
Focus on Your Strengths: Keep excelling as a student! Remember that your worth isn’t tied to how one person interacts with you. Continue to do your best, and perhaps other opportunities for recognition will arise down the line.
Ultimately, your feelings of invisibility are valid, and it’s important to take care of your own emotional well-being in this situation. Keep seeking connections, whether with this teacher or in your broader school community.