Why Am I Feeling Guilty About Planning to Give My Friend a Poor Peer Evaluation?
I need to vent about my current situation involving a midterm project for our Business Finance class. For several days now, I’ve been trying to encourage my friend to complete her assigned tasks, but she hasn’t followed through. She often responds with promises like “Yeah, I’ll do it,” yet nothing ever materializes.
In our group of four, she tends to only work when we’re all together, and even then, our other teammates often end up picking up her slack. She frequently claims to be busy or goes offline when we need her, leaving the rest of us to manage the workload. Despite repeatedly stressing that I have other projects to juggle and really need her assistance to wrap up the Business Finance project, I’ve ended up contributing the most. Our other group members have even apologized to me for their limited contributions, but my friend seems to be focused on other priorities, all while we’re racing against the clock.
It’s particularly ironic because she doesn’t like our other groupmates, often referring to them as “lazy.” Yet, they are doing more work than she is. Now, she’s worried that they might give her a bad peer evaluation if that opportunity arises.
I decided to reach out to our teachers and requested a peer evaluation, outlining my concerns about having someone who hasn’t contributed fairly sharing the same grade as the rest of us. Although she’s my friend, I don’t think it’s right for her to receive a good grade when she has barely participated. The only thing she managed to do was join our group call to explain that she spent the entire day at the mall, before logging off again.
I tried to discuss my feelings with her once more, but she only responded with a vague apology after I mentioned how our other teammates had expressed regret over their lack of involvement.
This isn’t typical behavior for her; she usually performs well under pressure. I can’t seem to understand why she’s slacking off in this class specifically.
It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling conflicted about your decision to give your friend a negative peer evaluation. It’s tough when personal relationships intersect with academic responsibilities. Here are a few things to consider that might help you navigate this situation:
Evaluate the Situation Objectively: It sounds like you’ve taken on more than your fair share of the work in this group project. It’s important to recognize that your evaluation should reflect the contributions made by each group member, including your friend. If she hasn’t contributed equally, it’s reasonable to communicate that through the peer evaluation.
Consider the Bigger Picture: While it may feel uncomfortable to give your friend a bad peer evaluation, remember that this project is part of your education and has real consequences for your grades. Allowing someone to receive a good grade for little to no effort doesn’t just impact you; it also undermines those who are working hard on the project, including your other groupmates.
Communicate Openly: You’ve tried to communicate your feelings to her, which is a great step. It might help to have one more conversation where you express how her lack of participation has affected the group. Try to avoid being confrontational; instead, focus on how her actions affect the overall team and project. This could potentially motivate her to contribute more.
Set Boundaries: If she isn’t willing to change her behavior, it’s okay to set boundaries. You’ve already expressed your concerns, and if she chooses not to engage, that’s her decision. You need to prioritize your own academic integrity and well-being.
Reflect on Your Friendship: It’s normal to feel bad about the potential impact on your friendship, but it’s essential to consider the dynamics at play. If this behavior is a one-off situation, it may be worth discussing and understanding her reasons further. However, if this becomes a pattern, it might be time to reflect on what type of friend you want to have and what you should expect in return.
Seek Support: Since you mentioned that other groupmates are also aware of the situation and support you, lean on them for their feedback and opinions. They may have similar feelings and can help provide perspective on how to proceed.
Ultimately, taking the step to communicate your concerns to the teachers demonstrates your commitment to fairness and accountability within the group. While giving a bad evaluation is difficult, it’s part of maintaining the integrity of the process. Good luck with your project!