college is so lonely

College can feel incredibly isolating at times. As a freshman about six months into this experience, I’ve come to realize that I struggle to maintain friendships. I often find myself in situations with people who raise major red flags—those who are judgmental or unkind—which prompts me to distance myself and eventually stop reaching out.

I also feel like I don’t really fit in anywhere. I’m not studious enough to vibe with the premed crowd because I enjoy partying and socializing, but I also don’t have the personality or charm to mesh with the popular kids, like my roommate. I often find small talk challenging and I can be a bit introverted, so I feel like I don’t belong there either. I truly value genuine connections over just having a large circle of acquaintances, which complicates my search for friends.

There was a time when I was part of a friend group, but I unintentionally dropped the ball when one of the guys developed feelings for me that I didn’t reciprocate. Since then, I’ve felt isolated from that group, and while I still exchange polite greetings, it’s clear that things have changed. Right now, I have two amazing people I talk to, but I still yearn for a larger friend group. Honestly, I feel left out and pretty lonely.

The other day, a conversation with my dad hit me hard. When he asked if I was going to dinner with my friend group, it stung because I typically eat alone. He knows a bit about the friendship struggles I’ve had, but I had told him I was okay and had friends. Hearing him ask that made me feel incredibly small.

So I guess I’ll have to learn to navigate this loneliness for now.

One Reply to “college is so lonely”

  1. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. College can be a tough time, especially when it comes to building friendships and finding your place. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and it’s completely understandable to feel lonely right now. Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way—many students experience similar struggles, especially in their first year.

    It’s great that you have two people you connect with; building on those relationships can be a good starting point. Sometimes, it helps to seek out activities or clubs that align with your interests to meet new people outside of the pressures of typical friend groups. It might take time, but genuine connections can grow in unexpected places.

    Also, don’t be too hard on yourself for the situation with your dad. It’s natural to want to protect your loved ones from your struggles, but it’s okay to be honest when you’re feeling down. Sharing your feelings can open up conversations that might help you feel less isolated.

    As hard as it is right now, try to focus on what makes you happy and seek connections with people who appreciate you for who you are. Loneliness is a tough feeling to grapple with, but remember that it doesn’t define you, and things can get better with time. You’ve got this!

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