I’m feeling overwhelmed about my graduation. To sum it up, I’m dealing with significant chronic health issues, including gastroparesis, superior mesenteric artery syndrome, and recently diagnosed lupus – the type that took years to identify since my blood markers appear normal. On top of that, I also manage anxiety and ADHD. Despite having all possible accommodations from my college and maintaining open communication with my professors, I’m still struggling to keep up. Many days, I can only manage to attend class and then spend the rest of the day resting.
I’ve started treatment for lupus, but it will take a few more weeks before I may feel any relief. People have been urging me to take a medical leave of absence for years, but as I’m now in my third year of college, I worry that if I step away, I won’t return. Unfortunately, I fear that my situation won’t improve significantly, so I feel I must push through.
On a personal note, I recently learned that one of my grandmothers is gravely ill, and both my grandfathers are suffering from severe dementia – one to the point where he doesn’t recognize me. I can’t help but regret not spending more time with them and for taking their presence for granted. I wish I had listened more to their stories and advice, but I’ve often struggled with anxiety and shyness, even around family, which has kept me at a distance. I’m left with so many regrets about my life and find myself not knowing what to do next.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time. It sounds incredibly overwhelming to juggle your health challenges, school, and family concerns all at once. First, I want to commend you for your resilience and determination. It’s not easy to keep pushing forward when everything feels so heavy.
It’s understandable to feel regret about not spending time with your grandparents, but know that it’s never too late to cherish the moments you have left. Maybe you can find small ways to connect with them now, even if it’s just talking or sharing memories.
As for school, it’s clear that you’re doing your best, and it’s okay to acknowledge that it’s tough. Remember, taking care of your health should always come first. If you’re feeling like things are getting unmanageable, it might be worth considering a break so you can focus on your well-being without the added pressure of classes. Even if it feels daunting, it doesn’t have to be a forever decision.
Reach out to your support system, whether it’s friends, family, or counselors. You don’t have to carry this burden alone, and sometimes just talking about it can help lighten the load. You are not alone in this fight, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Please take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. You’re doing the best you can.