I’m feeling like a fraud, and it doesn’t seem like just imposter syndrome.
As an international student pursuing a STEM degree in the UK, I often question my achievements. On paper, I maintain a 4.0 GPA, but it feels like luck has been my only ally throughout my academic journey.
It started with my GCSEs, where I benefited from the cancellation of exams due to Covid. That first year of the pandemic led to a mishap in the predicted grades system, allowing me to receive all A*s even though I was on the verge of failing several subjects.
For my A levels, which are similar to AP classes, I only studied for about a month before the exams. I’ve struggled with concentration since childhood, and while I’ve been tested for neurodivergence, I often attribute my challenges to my own procrastination. With the grade boundaries lowered for the first in-person exams post-Covid, I managed to achieve decent grades that met my university’s conditional offer.
During my first year of university, I experienced online exams, which meant I hardly studied at all—probably less than 50 hours the entire year. My second year was similar, with tests that weren’t particularly difficult. I keep telling myself that this year, I will finally establish a productive study routine, but I haven’t been able to follow through.
Now, in my final year before graduation, things are becoming genuinely challenging, and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. I’m beginning to struggle, and I can’t shake the feeling that my entire academic career has been based on sheer luck. I even leveraged my past grades to secure an offer for a master’s program at a prestigious global university, but I worry that I won’t be able to handle the academic rigors ahead.
First of all, it’s important to acknowledge how you’re feeling; it’s completely valid to have these thoughts, especially in a demanding academic environment. It sounds like you’ve had a unique journey, and while you may feel like your success has come from luck, it’s essential to recognize that your achievements are also a result of your intelligence, resilience, and ability to navigate challenging situations.
The transition to university can be difficult, especially when the academic pressure intensifies. It’s great that you’re aware of your struggles with concentration and studying. This awareness is a crucial first step in addressing those challenges. It might help to work on developing a study routine that caters to your needs. This could include setting specific goals, breaking tasks into smaller chunks, and exploring different study techniques that might help maintain your focus.
Regarding your upcoming master’s program, remember that everyone faces challenges, and a lot of students feel out of their depth, especially when entering a competitive environment. Universities typically have support services available, such as academic advisors or counseling, which can provide guidance and strategies to help you succeed. You are not alone in feeling this way, and seeking support from peers or mentors can make a significant difference.
Lastly, try to reframe your experiences. Instead of seeing them as pure luck, view them as opportunities where you demonstrated adaptability and resourcefulness. You’ve navigated challenges before, and you can do it again. Believe in your potential and give yourself the grace to learn and grow through these experiences. You’ve earned your place, and you have the ability to make it through this tough period. Good luck, and take care of yourself!