I was a loser in high school. How do I not be one in college.

Title: Seeking Advice for a Fresh Start in College

Hey everyone,

As I prepare to graduate this year, I’ve been reflecting on my high school experience, which hasn’t been the easiest. I’ve struggled with social anxiety and often felt like no one really liked me. In my freshman and sophomore years, I encountered two groups of “friends” that ultimately turned out to be less than genuine. I made some mistakes that contributed to a less-than-great reputation, and during my junior year, I faced some false rumors that drove a wedge between me and my friends, leaving me to spend my lunches alone behind the school with a book.

While I did manage to connect with a few people who eventually learned the truth, I still feel there’s a barrier that prevents me from forming deeper friendships. As I look ahead to college, I’m excited for a fresh start but I’m aware that my social skills could use some work.

I’d love your advice on how to avoid feeling isolated and make genuine connections in college. What are some effective ways to meet new people? How can I express interest in someone I like? I appreciate any tips you have; I just want to make the most of this new chapter in my life. Thanks for your help!

One Reply to “I was a loser in high school. How do I not be one in college.”

  1. First off, it’s really important to acknowledge that what you went through in high school is tough, and it’s perfectly okay to feel the way you do. Many people struggle with social anxiety and feeling disconnected, especially during those formative years. The good news is that college is a fantastic opportunity for a fresh start, and you’re not alone in wanting to make changes.

    Here are some tips to help you navigate your college experience and build new connections:

    1. Embrace the Fresh Start: Remember that college is a new environment. Everyone is looking to meet new people and make friends. You can present yourself how you want to be seen. Take advantage of this fresh slate to redefine your identity.

    2. Get Involved: Join clubs, organizations, or interest groups that align with your passions and hobbies. This is a great way to meet like-minded people and makes it easier to socialize since you’ll have common ground to discuss.

    3. Be Open and Approachable: Smile, make eye contact, and be willing to start conversations with people around you. Simple greetings and small talk can go a long way in breaking the ice.

    4. Practice Active Listening: When you engage in conversation, show genuine interest in what others are saying. Ask questions and be attentive. This helps you connect on a deeper level and shows that you value their thoughts.

    5. Take it Slow: Building friendships takes time. Don’t rush the process. Allow relationships to develop naturally and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

    6. Don’t Fear Rejection: Understand that not every attempt at making friends will succeed, and that’s okay. Rejection is a normal part of life. Learn from it and keep moving forward.

    7. Express Interest: If you’re interested in a girl, try to find opportunities to talk to her in group settings where it feels more relaxed. Compliment her in a genuine way or mention something you both are involved in. Keep it casual and friendly.

    8. Work on Yourself: Use this time to also focus on personal growth. Consider activities that boost your confidence, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or picking up new hobbies.

    9. Seek Help if Needed: If you find your social anxiety is impacting your ability to connect with others, consider talking to a counselor or therapist. They can provide support and strategies to help you work through it.

    10. Be Patient: Building a fulfilling social life takes time, so be patient with yourself. Celebrate small victories, and remember that friendships develop at their own pace.

    Lastly, remember that everyone is on their own journey and many college students share similar feelings of uncertainty. You’re not alone in this, and with time, effort, and an open heart, you can create meaningful connections in college. Good luck!

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