Feeling lost in life right now
I’m currently a Junior majoring in Computer Science, and things aren’t going well. I think I might dislike my major—but maybe it’s just the classes? I’m not sure. Meanwhile, my friends seem to thrive in their challenging courses, while I dread mine every day. Honestly, I can’t recall a single Computer Science class with any fondness—not one. I know you’re probably thinking I should just switch majors and pursue what makes me happy. If only it were that simple.
I wonder if it’s just that I’m 21 and feeling lazy, or if underlying depression is causing me to resent my classes, or if I genuinely dislike them. Dropping out would mean wasting a lot of time and money, especially if this is just a phase. But this doesn’t feel like a phase; it feels like a heavy dread about my future in Computer Science. Then there’s the nagging worry: am I just unmotivated and depressed, making me view this as more than it is? On top of that, I’ve invested so much time, effort, and emotional energy into this major—I hate the thought of throwing it all away.
If I stick with it, I have only two semesters left until I earn my degree. My dad suggests I power through because, on paper, it makes the most sense. Having a degree is supposed to open up many opportunities. I just need to get through these last two semesters, and then, theoretically, the world will be my oyster. I should mention that I have clear goals for my life: I envision a stable upper-middle-class family, a wife, at least one adopted kid, and some pets. I believe this degree will be a pathway to securing that future.
On the flip side, if I drop my classes, everything feels like it would fall apart. I could switch to an online university for something I actually enjoy, but the financial support would disappear if I did that. Plus, my main source of income right now is a CS internship, and I doubt I could keep that if I change paths. Would the potential joy of spending the next year doing something I love be worth it?
I’m at a crossroads, feeling truly lost and confused. Any advice would be appreciated. I do have interests I’m passionate about, like writing, video editing, or concert light design. I’ve gained solid experience in those areas for someone my age, and I genuinely love them! The downside is that job opportunities in those fields seem scarce. I know CS has its struggles too, but at least I have an internship there (even if I’m not finding joy in it).
Thanks for sticking through this post about my quarter-life crisis! I really appreciate it.
It sounds like you’re going through a really challenging time, and it’s completely understandable to feel lost and confused about your path, especially when it comes to something as significant as your education and future career. First, I want to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel this way. Many people grapple with similar feelings during their college years, so you’re not alone.
It’s clear that you’ve put a lot of thought into your current situation and have a vision for what you want in life. That’s a great start! Here are a few things to consider during this pivotal time:
Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to think about what specifically you dislike about your Computer Science courses. Is it the content, the teaching style, or the workload? Understanding the root of your dissatisfaction may help inform your decision moving forward.
Explore Options within CS: Computer Science is a broad field. If you feel like your current classes aren’t resonating with you, perhaps you could look into electives or specialization within CS that might align more with your interests.
Consider a Minor or Double Major: If you have a passion for writing, video editing, or concert light design, check if your university offers a minor or other programs that allow you to explore those fields. This way, you can keep working toward your degree while developing skills in areas that excite you.
Talk to Advisors and Professionals: Reach out to academic advisors, career services, or professors. They may help you see potential paths you hadn’t considered or offer insights on how your skills could be applicable in different industries. Networking with professionals in your areas of interest might provide a clearer picture of job prospects and what you might enjoy.
Consider Internships and Experience: While you’re currently interning in CS, explore opportunities in writing, video editing, or other fields you’re interested in, even if they’re part-time or freelance. These experiences can be incredibly valuable for your resume and may give you a clearer sense of whether you could build a career in those areas.
Mental Health Matters: If you’re feeling persistently low or unmotivated, it might be helpful to speak with a counselor or therapist. They can provide support as you navigate these feelings and help you clarify whether your dissatisfaction stems from your major, other life pressures, or possible depression.
Evaluate the Degree’s Value: Your dad’s advice about completing the degree because it will “open doors” is common advice, but consider what doors you want to open. If you believe that a CS degree won’t lead you to happiness, that’s an important consideration. Weigh the financial investment and time against what truly brings you joy.
Ultimately, your happiness and fulfillment are what matters most. Trust yourself to find the right path, whether it’s sticking with CS or pursuing something different that excites you. Remember, it’s never too late to pivot. Whatever decision you make, know that you’re shaping your life in a way that feels right for you. Good luck!