Massive Leap of Faith

Taking a Bold Step Forward

So, where do I even begin?

Recently, I received some alarming news about my health—my doctor suspects I might have cancer, and further tests are forthcoming. This illness has affected several women in my family, and while I’ve come to terms with the possibility, it combined with my struggle with insomnia has left me feeling truly miserable.

I’m currently enrolled at university, but I have made the difficult decision to drop out and pursue an online degree instead. This isn’t about a lack of effort; rather, I’ve realized just how much I dislike my current school environment. I feel isolated—without friends and without anything that motivates me to stay. Even though I attend a well-regarded institution for my education major, my passion for being there has diminished.

There are other factors at play as well. Living several hours from home complicates my ability to see a doctor regularly. I had to sell my car for textbooks, which has made travel expenses a burden. My insomnia keeps me awake for days on end, leading me to fall asleep in risky places—like school bathrooms, benches, and even my bathroom floor. This situation is becoming increasingly concerning for my safety.

Given my McKinney-Vento status, I’m unsure how transferring credits will affect my situation. I need to leave now; I simply can’t remain here any longer. I plan to pack up my things and not return after spring break.

I’m enrolled in an accelerated Creative Writing and English course and am considering either pursuing a master’s in education or taking advantage of a state internship for teachers to start teaching while obtaining my certification.

At this point, my focus is on improving my health and figuring out how to afford a new car. I’m sharing this in hopes of finding some support or advice—anything would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

One Reply to “Massive Leap of Faith”

  1. First off, I want to say that I’m really sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Facing potential health issues and the stress of school can be incredibly overwhelming, especially when compounded by sleep deprivation and feeling isolated. It’s understandable that you need to make changes in your life to prioritize your well-being.

    Dropping out of a university that doesn’t feel right for you is a brave step, and it sounds like you’ve reflected deeply on your situation. It’s important to find an environment where you can thrive both academically and personally. Pursuing an online degree could provide you with the flexibility you need to focus on your health while still working toward your goals.

    As you navigate these changes, prioritizing your physical and mental health is key. It might be helpful to seek support from a health professional who can assist with your insomnia and help you manage your anxiety about your health situation. If traveling to a doctor is challenging, look for local health resources or telehealth services that may be available to you.

    In terms of your financial and academic situation, reach out to your current school’s advising office for guidance on transferring credits and navigating your McKinney Vento status. They may have resources or connections that can help simplify the process for you.

    Network with others in your field, whether through online forums, social media, or local organizations related to education and creative writing. Building connections can help you feel less isolated and might open doors for future opportunities.

    Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or community support systems while you go through this transition. You’re not alone, and there are people who care and want to help you.

    Finally, be kind to yourself during this time. It’s okay to take a step back, focus on healing, and move at your own pace. Your path may look different than you originally envisioned, but it can still lead to fulfilling and meaningful experiences. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Sending you strength and support as you move forward.

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