Post-Bereavement Support Needed
Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out because I recently lost my twin sibling unexpectedly a few weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been with my family, which has provided some comfort during this difficult time. Normally, I study about 1500 miles away and wasn’t planning to return home until summer due to prior commitments. I’m truly grateful for the chance to be with my family, but I’m facing the reality of returning to school after spring break next week.
The truth is, I’m struggling to feel ready. Sleep has been elusive, my appetite is gone, and I find it hard to focus. The thought of returning to school and catching up on what I’ve missed feels overwhelming. As a resident assistant, I feel guilty about leaving my residents for so long, even though my supervisor has reassured me that it’s alright. Plus, I’m in the midst of working on my senior thesis and juggling two studio classes, so I know I have a lot to catch up on, even with my professors’ understanding.
To make matters harder, my birthday falls just a week after my return to school. The idea of spending my first birthday without my twin, away from my family, is really weighing on me. Birthdays have always been a source of joy for me, but this year feels like a painful reminder of what we’ve lost and the future that could have been.
I understand that if I don’t go back now, it could be even harder to return later, and I don’t want to let all my hard work in school go to waste. I’m so close to graduating, and the thought of delaying my degree further is daunting, but I’m unsure if I can cope with everything right now.
I have a flight booked to return, so it’s set in stone, but I’m really questioning my emotional readiness.
If anyone has advice or uplifting thoughts to share, I would truly appreciate it. Thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your twin’s passing. That must be incredibly difficult for you, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed as you think about returning to school. It’s important to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being right now, so here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging time:
Take One Day at a Time: Focus on getting through each day rather than trying to tackle everything at once. It’s okay to take small steps, and you don’t have to have it all figured out immediately.
Communicate with Your Professors: Reach out to your professors and let them know about your situation. They may offer accommodations or additional support as you transition back into your studies.
Utilize School Resources: Many universities offer counseling services, grief support groups, or even just someone to talk to. Take advantage of these resources when you return.
Connect with Fellow Students or Friends: Lean on your support system. Whether it’s friends from school or family back home, allow them to share in your grief and offer support.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel sad and not be okay. Honor your feelings as you navigate this loss and understand that it’s a process.
Plan Something Special for Your Birthday: While it may not be the same, consider how you might honor your twin on your birthday. Whether it’s a small personal ritual or gathering with friends to celebrate their memory, it can help you feel connected.
Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that it’s okay to not be at your best right now. Give yourself grace during this time, and don’t hesitate to seek help when you need it.
Returning to school is a big step, especially under these circumstances. Trust your instincts and take care of yourself. You are strong for even considering going back, and it’s okay to lean on others as you find your way forward. You’re not alone in this.