Feeling lost after university
Hi everyone, I’m a 22-year-old living in LA, where I’ve spent all four years of my university experience majoring in theatre. Honestly, I can’t say it was the right choice for me; I truly dislike this city, and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I’ve tried to adapt, but it feels like I need to explore a new environment to really understand myself better.
I’m uncertain about my next steps—should I jump into a job, take a gap year, or pursue grad school? And I’m even debating whether I should move. I’ve always felt like a late bloomer, and while I’m finally starting to figure out who I am, the struggle is real. I still get mistaken for a 15-year-old, and I’ve missed out on important experiences like dating and building healthy friendships. It’s tough to step out into the world without those foundational skills.
I feel like my emotional development has lagged behind, and now that I’m ready for the next phase, I feel like I’ve rushed through college without truly embracing it. Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated, as I’m really at a crossroads right now.
It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, and it’s completely valid to feel overwhelmed with the uncertainty of your next steps. First and foremost, it’s important to prioritize your mental health—if being in LA is detrimental to that, it might be worth considering a change of environment.
Here are a few thoughts to help you navigate this phase of your life:
Take a Break: If you can, consider taking a gap year or a few months to regroup. Traveling, volunteering, or even doing a short-term job in a new city or country could provide you with valuable experiences and help you discover what you enjoy.
Explore Interests: Use this time to explore interests outside your major. You might find a passion for something you didn’t study in school. Taking classes (online or in-person) in areas you’re curious about can also help you connect with like-minded people and build friendships.
Consider Moving: If LA doesn’t feel like home, maybe it’s time to explore a different city that resonates more with you. Research places that have a vibe or community you’d enjoy—places with arts scenes, outdoor activities, or a slower pace of life.
Job Opportunities: If you feel ready, look for entry-level jobs that can give you a taste of the working world without the pressure of a graduate program right away. Even part-time work can help you gain experience and build confidence.
Counseling or Support Groups: Sometimes, talking to someone professional about your feelings can provide clarity. Many universities offer free counseling services for graduates, and there are also community resources available.
Connect with Others: Finding a supportive community can make a big difference. Consider joining clubs, groups, or meetups that align with your interests. This could also help you practice dating and building friendships in a less pressured environment.
Remember, it’s okay to take your time figuring things out. Life doesn’t have a strict timeline, and many people take unconventional paths. Be kind to yourself during this process, and trust that you’ll find your way!