What do you reasonably say to fellow classmates when you got higher grades/passed the class and they didn’t?

How should you approach classmates when you’ve received higher grades or passed a class while they didn’t?

In my efforts to be more social, I’ve realized there’s a challenging question at hand: how to respond when someone shares that they scored lower or failed? It feels uncomfortable to say, “Sorry to hear you didn’t pass O Chem 1” when I’m moving on to O Chem 2. It seems insensitive, right?

I prefer not to talk about exam scores with classmates in my own section; I’m more open about it with students in other sections. I don’t want anyone to feel bad seeing that I did better.

So, what do we talk about instead? Since we share a common experience in this class, it’s natural for the topic to come up eventually. When someone says, “Yeah, I failed,” the situation can get pretty awkward. How do we navigate those conversations?

One Reply to “What do you reasonably say to fellow classmates when you got higher grades/passed the class and they didn’t?”

  1. It’s definitely a tricky situation, and it’s great that you’re being mindful of your classmates’ feelings. Here are a few tips on how to navigate conversations about grades without making anyone feel uncomfortable:

    1. Empathy First: If someone tells you they didn’t do well, acknowledge their feelings. You could say something like, “I’m really sorry to hear that. O Chem can be tough!” This shows you understand and care about their experience.

    2. Shift the Focus: Instead of diving into your own success immediately, try to steer the conversation towards how you can help each other. Ask if they’d like to study together or if they want to discuss specific topics from the class. This way, you’re demonstrating support rather than creating a comparison.

    3. Share Your Struggles: You could also open up about any challenges you faced in the class. This shows that everyone has their own hurdles and fosters a more collaborative atmosphere. For example, you might say, “I found some sections really difficult too, I spent a lot of time going over certain topics.”

    4. Keep It Casual: If the topic of grades comes up, you could share your grade in a nonchalant way and emphasize that grades don’t define anyone’s worth or future potential. You might mention that the class is hard for everyone and that there are many pathways to success.

    5. Talk About Future Plans: Instead of focusing only on past grades, discuss what’s next. Ask about their plans going forward, whether they’re retaking the class, finding tutoring, or considering other classes—they may appreciate the conversation shift.

    By approaching these situations with sensitivity and openness, you can help create an environment where everyone feels supported and valued, regardless of their grades.

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