College can feel incredibly isolating. As a freshman about six months in, I’ve realized that I’m really struggling to maintain friendships. I often find myself attracting people who raise red flags—like being overly judgmental—which makes me pull away. It’s hard to connect with others when I don’t quite fit into any particular crowd. I’m too laid-back for the premed students, but I also lack the social skills to mesh with the more popular groups, like my roommate’s friends. I value deep, genuine connections over having lots of acquaintances, which complicates things even more.
I did have a friend group at one point, but that fell apart when one of the guys liked me, and I didn’t feel the same. It led to the whole group kind of isolating me. They still acknowledge me with casual hellos, but that’s about it. I’ve got a couple of amazing people I talk to regularly, but I can’t help but feel lonely, wishing for a solid friend group.
What hit me hard was when I mentioned to my dad that I was going out for dinner, and he assumed I’d be with my friends. It broke me inside because I usually eat alone. My dad knows some of the friendship issues I’ve faced, but I’ve been telling him I’m okay and have friends. When he asked that question, it made me feel really pathetic.
Anyway, I guess I need to come to terms with feeling lonely for now.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. College can be such a challenging time, especially when it comes to forming meaningful connections. It’s completely normal to struggle with friendships, especially in a new environment where everyone is looking to find their place.
It sounds like you’re being really reflective about your experiences, which is a great first step. Prioritizing genuine connections over superficial ones is admirable, and it might just take time to find those people who align with your values. Remember, quality definitely trumps quantity when it comes to friendships.
It can be tough not fitting into a specific “niche,” but your uniqueness is also your strength. There are plenty of others who feel the same way, even if they might not show it. Maybe try exploring different clubs or activities that interest you! Joining something based on your hobbies might help you meet people who share your passions and can lead to more authentic friendships.
And about your dad’s comment—it’s totally understandable to feel broken by it. It doesn’t mean you’re pathetic! Everyone’s journey is different, and being open about your experiences can sometimes be a way to strengthen bonds with the people who truly care about you.
You’re not alone in feeling lonely, and it’s okay to have those feelings. Just try to remember that things can change, and building meaningful connections often takes time. Keep being yourself, and you might find others who appreciate that in time. Hang in there!