Struggling to Survive High School as a Loner: I Need Your Advice
Hey everyone,
I’m a girl gearing up for senior high next year, and I’m feeling really overwhelmed as I think about my future. I’ll still be at my current Catholic school, while my two close friends are transferring to different schools because they just can’t handle the toxic environment, heavy workload, and stress. They’re introverts and really struggle with social interactions, which I totally understand. As for me, I feel okay expressing myself—I’d rate my communication skills around a 7.3 out of 10. However, I’d prefer to avoid gossip and toxic conversations. I’ve had my fill of that from certain classmates who think they’re cool but really just bring a lot of negativity.
Honestly, while there are some classmates who seem nice, I just don’t feel drawn to them. They give off a vibe that makes me reluctant to engage. Luckily, I still have one close friend, but we’re going our separate academic ways—I’ll be taking HUMMS, and she’s going with STEM.
What worries me the most is returning to that familiar feeling of being a loner in class, like I was in the past. I dread the thought of trying to find group mates or partners during class activities; working in groups triggers my anxiety.
So here I am, looking for any kind of advice—good or bad—on how to navigate the toxicity. I want to avoid drama and would much rather stick with myself or a small group of close friends.
Another thing that’s been on my mind is all the drama that can plague a class. I want nothing to do with unnecessary issues, rumors, or conflicts that seem to spill over and complicate everything. The idea of getting caught up in someone else’s nonsense makes me anxious, and I can’t handle that kind of stress. I dream of switching schools, but I can’t. My mom made a deal that if I change schools for senior high, I’ll lose the freedom to choose my college later on. Staying at my current school means I can choose my college without restrictions, and that’s just too important for me.
I’ve tried to convince my parents to let me transfer since seventh grade—back when things were rough—but they refuse to see the negative side of my current school. They believe it’s a great place, but I feel differently because I was bullied there last year.
So, I’m reaching out to you all—please, motivate me, give me advice, or just comfort me. I really need it right now! Thank you!
Hey there! First off, I want to say that it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed right now, especially with your friends moving on and the uncertainties about senior high. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, but I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Here are some thoughts that might help you survive and possibly thrive during this time:
Focus on Yourself: Remember, this is your journey. It’s okay to be a loner sometimes. Use this time to explore your interests and develop your skills. Dive into hobbies that make you happy and confident—whether it’s art, writing, or something else that excites you.
Open-Mindedness: As you step into your new classes, try to approach new people with an open mind. Sometimes, you might be surprised by who you connect with. Not everyone has to be a best friend; even a casual acquaintance can make school life more bearable.
Establish Boundaries: It’s great that you’re aware of what kind of people you want to avoid. Stay true to yourself, and don’t be afraid to distance yourself from toxicity. You can be polite but firm in establishing boundaries with people who drain your energy.
Seek Like-Minded Individuals: Look for clubs, groups, or activities related to your interests in the HUMMS strand. This can be a great way to meet new people who share common passions, and it may feel less daunting since you’ll have something in common right from the start.
Communication Skills: Since you mentioned you’re okay with communication, consider using that to your advantage. Practice striking up simple conversations with classmates. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it can help build connections.
Addressing Group Work Anxiety: Group projects can be tough, especially with anxiety. If you find yourself in a situation where you can’t avoid group work, try to be proactive. Suggest roles that play to your strengths and don’t hesitate to express your preferences for working styles. You might find that some classmates are just as uncomfortable as you are.
Stay Out of Drama: It’s wise to avoid getting entangled in rumors and issues. Find activities or corners of the school that keep you focused on your studies and personal growth. Minimizing your social media exposure can also help reduce anxiety related to gossip.
Talk to Someone: If you feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a trusted teacher or counselor. They might offer perspectives or solutions you haven’t thought of and can support you during this transition.
Plan for College: Keep your future college goals in mind as you navigate senior high. Stay focused on what you want to achieve, and remind yourself that getting through this challenging year will lead you to the freedom you desire in college.
Celebrate Small Wins: Every step you take to navigate this situation is a win! Celebrate your successes, even the small ones, and give yourself credit for all you’ve been through. You’re stronger than you think.
It’s perfectly valid to want to be around positive people and make the most of your high school experience. Remember, you’re not defined by your high school environment; you’re preparing for a bright future. Stay strong, and take it one day at a time! You got this! 💪✨