How do I overcome these feelings before college? (Long post ahead)
I’m going to be real here—I’m feeling pretty anxious about the transition from high school to college next year. But honestly, what’s weighing on me the most are the thoughts I’ve been grappling with these past few months.
During high school, I didn’t put myself out there much. I didn’t join any sports or extracurricular activities, nor did I take AP or dual credit classes, mainly because I felt comfortable with my existing coursework. However, as I reached senior year, things began to shift. My classes started to feel dull and unchallenging, and I realized I hadn’t been learning as much as I had in my earlier high school years. Looking around, I found myself envying my peers who seemed to be doing so much more, like my girlfriend and her friends who were always talking about their band experiences. I couldn’t help but feel like I could’ve done more during my time in high school.
My girlfriend means the world to me, but there were moments when my jealousy clouded my happiness for her achievements. She was deeply involved in various extracurriculars like color guard, choir, and nursing, and she excelled in AP and dual credit courses. While I truly admire her accomplishments, my insecurities led me to compare myself to not only her, but other students as well. I noticed how busy everyone else was while all I had to show for my high school experience were core classes and three years of JROTC. Don’t get me wrong—my time in JROTC was great, and I loved working with my fellow cadets. Still, the comparison game crept in, especially when I noticed others excelling beyond my own involvement. Even though I recently joined the Saber team to catch up, I still feel ashamed for not participating in more activities throughout my high school journey.
In short, I’ve found myself feeling miserable because my mind often drifts to those ‘what ifs.’ I’m trying so hard to shake off these feelings. I’ve talked to my girlfriend about my regrets, and she’s been incredibly supportive, reminding me that life still has plenty in store for me. While that reassurance helped boost my confidence temporarily, the insecurities always seem to return. I even opened up to my parents about my thoughts, only to be met with, “Why didn’t you get involved in sports or extracurriculars?” which only amplified my feelings of self-doubt.
It’s clear that my self-esteem is at a low point. I often find myself wanting what others have instead of appreciating my own journey. I recognize how selfish that may sound, but it’s been a persistent struggle for me this past year. Music has been my refuge during these tough moments. A small voice in my head constantly whispers things like, “You could’ve done so much more” and “What about your success?”—and that really brings me down. I felt the need to share this because it’s something that’s been pressing on my mind, and I wanted to express these feelings openly.
First off, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to share such personal feelings and experiences. Transitioning from high school to college is a big step, and it’s completely normal to have worries and self-doubt during this time. It sounds like you’re going through a lot of internal conflict as you compare yourself to others, which is something many people can relate to.
It’s great that you recognize these feelings of envy and self-doubt, but it’s also important to remember that everyone has their own journey, and it’s not fair to measure your worth against the achievements of others. Your experiences in JROTC and the connections you’ve made are significant and unique to you, even if they may not look like what others are doing.
Comparing yourself to others can be a slippery slope; it often leads to feelings of inadequacy, but try to remind yourself that everyone has their own strengths and paths. Your girlfriend’s encouragement shows that she sees the value in you for who you are, not just in what you’ve done. Use that support as a foundation to build your confidence.
Instead of dwelling on missed opportunities, maybe think about how you can shift your focus towards what excites you about college. This is a fresh start, a chance to explore new interests, and engage in activities you may not have had the opportunity to try before. It’s never too late to start something new, and college often has a different atmosphere where you can meet diverse people and explore different extracurriculars.
Take this time to reflect on what you truly want to pursue in college. Instead of comparing yourself to others, think about your own passions and what brings you joy and fulfillment. Setting small, achievable goals for yourself can also help in rebuilding your self-esteem. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that everyone’s path looks different.
Finally, don’t hesitate to seek professional help if these feelings ever feel overwhelming. Talking to a counselor or therapist can provide you with tools to navigate these thoughts and build resilience. College may be intimidating, but it’s also a wonderful opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and new experiences. Embrace the journey, and remember to be kind to yourself along the way!