Struggling with Imposter Syndrome Over My Grades
I want to preface this by saying I’m not trying to brag or be sarcastic; I genuinely seek advice. I recognize that my grades are above average, but I find myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy.
Both of my parents are incredibly intelligent, and while I consider myself smart too, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not measuring up to their legacy.
I currently have a 3.9 unweighted GPA and a 4.9 weighted GPA, which I know is impressive, yet I’m not even in the top 10% of my class, and that really bothers me. This isn’t some elite private school—just a regular, highly competitive public school. My parents have set an incredibly high bar; both excelled academically, and I feel like I’m falling short.
To give you some perspective, my dad was the valedictorian of his high school, as well as his bachelor’s and master’s programs, and ranked in the top 1000 in the nation for his bachelor’s degree. My mom was in the actual top 10 of her high school and master’s programs, and also valedictorian in her bachelor’s degree. Meanwhile, here I am, not even ranking in the top 50 or 75 in my class.
I know my grades are still strong, and my parents are supportive, but I sometimes worry that I’m letting them down.
I’m reaching out for any thoughts or advice on how to cope with this feeling. Thank you.
It’s completely understandable to feel this way, especially when you have high standards set by your parents. Imposter Syndrome can be tough to handle, but know that your feelings are valid and you’re not alone in experiencing them.
First and foremost, it’s important to remember that grades don’t define your worth or potential. You have achieved a remarkable GPA, especially in a competitive environment, which reflects your hard work and intelligence. Each individual’s journey is unique, and comparing yourself to your parents or your peers can lead to unnecessary pressure.
Try to shift your perspective from how your grades compare to others to recognizing your own strengths and accomplishments. Have you considered focusing on the skills you’re developing, the subjects you’re passionate about, and the experiences you’re gaining along the way?
Additionally, communicating with your parents about how you feel might provide some relief. They might have insights or reassurances that could help you realize how proud they are of your efforts—after all, their success doesn’t diminish yours. Ultimately, they love you for who you are, not just your academic achievements.
Lastly, remember that it’s perfectly okay to ask for help. Whether it’s talking to a school counselor, joining a study group, or seeking mentorship, there are resources available to help you navigate these feelings and build your confidence. Embrace your own path and know that you are doing great, just as you are.